Q. Cases of bullying in school are increasing and worsening. What do you think are the cause of this? How can we tackle this issue?
In
this
new generation
the reports of students being bullied in school are Add a comma
generation,
inclining
. Some of the reasons behind Verb problem
increasing
this
phenomenon would be peer pressure and also
, guidance provided by the authorities. In this
essay, possible causes and solutions for this
issue would
be Wrong verb form
will
disscussed
.
Correct your spelling
discussed
Firstly
, it is easier for young children to be pressured by their peers just to feel accepted by them. Often, kids follow the senior groups in their school and agree to do whatever they are asked for. This
helps them to fulfill
their desire to fit in the popular group. Change the spelling
fulfil
Secondly
, lack
of role Correct article usage
a lack
model
at home Fix the agreement mistake
models
also
has a negative impact on the upbringing of a child
. For instance
, a child
with aggressive parents tends to have more anger issues and can not handle emotions properly which further
leads to fights and bullying juniors in school. Furthermore
, improper guidance and invigilation by academic tutors and parents would cause development
of bullying Add an article
the development
behaviour
. For example
, not taking account for
the amount of exposure of a Change preposition
of
child
to violent media would be an unresponsible
Correct your spelling
irresponsible
behaviour
by an adult, which can cause the kid to easily act out.
However
, taking following
measures would help to solve the issue Correct article usage
the following
upto
an extent. One of the methods might include providing psychological and life-skill education in schools. Correct your spelling
up to
This
would help with the development of behaviour
and also
incorporating
a mature mindset to understand the psychological effects of bullying. Wrong verb form
incorporate
Further
, enforcement of harsh rules and regualtions
against students involved in bullying would make them reconsider their decisions and actions. Correct your spelling
regulations
Finally
, controlling the time a child
spends on social media or decreasing the
exposure to violence would help to plummet inappropriate Correct article usage
apply
behaviour
and cyberbullying.
In conclusion, there are multiple reasons behind the sharp increase in bullying cases such
as improper guidance, a lack of awareness and understanding of psychological effects, and absence of a role model. But if the guardians follow strict measures and rules like providing lifeskill
and psychology courses, regulations and anti-bullying policies, and keeping an eye on their children Correct your spelling
life skill
then
the younger generation would be more kind which would further
decrease the rate of bullying.Submitted by Writing8
on
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task achievement
Work on ensuring your introduction sets the stage effectively. Although your introduction mentions the increase in bullying cases, it could be more engaging and clearer in framing the problem and its causes. Additionally, avoid minor spelling and grammar mistakes, such as "disscussed" instead of "discussed."
coherence cohesion
Clarify points where needed. For example, the connection between peer pressure and bullying could be elaborated further to increase reader comprehension. Additionally, ensure your ideas flow logically within paragraphs and between them.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task by addressing both the causes of bullying and possible solutions comprehensively.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported with explanations and examples, making your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and well-structured conclusion that summarizes the points discussed effectively and provides a solution-focused closure.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs are well-organized with a good logical flow. Each paragraph addresses a particular point, contributing to the overall cohesion of the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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