Most people in the world need to work in order to lead a decent life or even just to survive. Many workers are motivated by money: if the job pays well, they are willing to do it. However, some people are not concerned with the size of their pay packet: they simply enjoy their job and choose to do it whether they earn a high salary or not. What is more important – salary or job satisfaction? Discuss and give reasons for your answer.

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While

Linking Words

many argue that high-paid employment is more motivating in comparison to enjoyable ones, others think that freedom and joy at the workplace define their preference. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain both sides' mentality and why I give my credit to

money

Use synonyms

-based choosers. First and foremost, we all work for

money

Use synonyms

and it has always been on

this

Linking Words

course.

However

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, our employment sometimes costs us more than

money

Use synonyms

earned. Being arduous, earning requires complete dedication and mental effort.

This

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situation sometimes causes serious disorders

such

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as depression, anxiety or even obsession. In order not to experience

such

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unpleasant conditions, individuals need to be satisfied with their salaries so that they can get more enjoyable jobs.

For instance

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, crafters are more likely to be happier than white-collar office workers.

On the other hand

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, many people work not only for themselves but

also

Linking Words

for their families. On

such

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occasions, people look for more

money

Use synonyms

to make their family's living. Especially they struggle to earn ample

money

Use synonyms

for their children. In large families, having earned,

money

Use synonyms

goes immediately.

For

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this

Linking Words

reason, earners in the family do not care about their sake whether it is well.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they may look for second employment which makes the situation even worse. If every individual had been paid

satisfactory

Change the word

satisfactorily

show examples

, they would have sought

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

enjoyable jobs. In conclusion, the balance of joy at work and payment is vital in order to sustain wellness. Yet, it might not be applied to those who live for not only themselves.

Money

Use synonyms

can be the first requirement

unfortunately

Add the comma(s)

, unfortunately

show examples

TUTOOThu Jul 11 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea. Your task response can be improved by further clarifying and expanding on some points, especially in the second body paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Use more linking words and phrases effectively to make the essay flow smoother. Improve the transitions between ideas within paragraphs.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly lays out the two perspectives and your position, which helps in setting the tone for the essay.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion neatly summarizes your main arguments and clearly states your stance on the topic.

logical structure

You have a good logical structure overall, with each paragraph addressing a specific point related to the main topic.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

intrinsic value
remuneration
psychological benefits
sense of purpose
financial stress
facilitating
comfortable lifestyle
moderate income
job contentment
fulfilling life
societal norms
economic conditions
personal circumstances
valuation

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