Most people in the world need to work in order to lead a decent life or even just to survive. Many workers are motivated by money: if the job pays well, they are willing to do it. However, some people are not concerned with the size of their pay packet: they simply enjoy their job and choose to do it whether they earn a high salary or not. What is more important – salary or job satisfaction? Discuss and give reasons for your answer.
While
many argue that high-paid employment is more motivating in comparison to enjoyable ones, others think that freedom and joy at the workplace define their preference. In this
essay, I will explain both sides' mentality and why I give my credit to money
-based choosers.
First and foremost, we all work for money
and it has always been on this
course. However
, our employment sometimes costs us more than money
earned. Being arduous, earning requires complete dedication and mental effort. This
situation sometimes causes serious disorders such
as depression, anxiety or even obsession. In order not to experience such
unpleasant conditions, individuals need to be satisfied with their salaries so that they can get more enjoyable jobs. For instance
, crafters are more likely to be happier than white-collar office workers.
On the other hand
, many people work not only for themselves but also
for their families. On such
occasions, people look for more money
to make their family's living. Especially they struggle to earn ample money
for their children. In large families, having earned, money
goes immediately. For
this
reason, earners in the family do not care about their sake whether it is well. Moreover
, they may look for second employment which makes the situation even worse. If every individual had been paid satisfactory
, they would have sought Change the word
satisfactorily
for
enjoyable jobs.
In conclusion, the balance of joy at work and payment is vital in order to sustain wellness. Yet, it might not be applied to those who live for not only themselves. Change preposition
apply
Money
can be the first requirement unfortunately
.Add the comma(s)
, unfortunately
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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea. Your task response can be improved by further clarifying and expanding on some points, especially in the second body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases effectively to make the essay flow smoother. Improve the transitions between ideas within paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly lays out the two perspectives and your position, which helps in setting the tone for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion neatly summarizes your main arguments and clearly states your stance on the topic.
logical structure
You have a good logical structure overall, with each paragraph addressing a specific point related to the main topic.