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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learingn a foreign langauge at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #learingn #langauge #school #outweigh
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Today, learning a new
language
 has become a crucial part of communication, and because of
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 some researchers think that
inrtoducing
Correct your spelling
introducing
 foreign languages to young students at earlier levels is more effective. I firmly agree with
this
. in
this
 essay, I will outline the perceived drawbacks and benefits of
this
 method and explain why I feel
t
Correct your spelling
it
 has far more significant advantages. On the one hand, the most outstanding benefit is the cognitive development. Students at a young age
has
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have
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 a greater capacity for absorbing new information, even complex ones.
Moreover
, enhance cognitive abilities
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 problem-solving, creativity, and critical thinking.
Additionally
, it helps improve flexibility and pronunciation. Young children are usually more adept at mimicking new sounds and adopting accurate sounds which results in greater fluency in the foreign
language
. the earlier children learn a second
language
, the easier it gets. As for these disadvantages, which are hardly seen.
Firstly
 resource allocation. implementing foreign
language
 programs in primary schools might require additional resources,
for instance
, training teachers, and materials, which could be challenging for some schools.
Secondly
, curriculum overload. adding a foreign
language
 to the primary school curriculum may lead to
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 pressure on young students and reduce the time for essential subjects or activities.
To conclude
, despite the curriculum overload and additional sources of learning non-native
language
 at elementary school, the outcomes are far greater, which can enhance cognitive abilities, flexibility, and pronunciation.
that is
way
Correct your spelling
why
show examples
i
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I
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 strongly agree that elementary school is the optimal time for learning non-native languages.
Submitted by ranaalh910 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. However, work on ensuring that each paragraph develops a single idea clearly and logically.
coherence cohesion
Try to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, 'inrtoducing' should be 'introducing,' and 'typo in 'that is way' should be 'that is why.'
task achievement
Enhance your main points with more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. For example, including studies or real-life examples of successful early language learners can make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position and outlines what your essay will cover.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of early language learning.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Absorbing new information
  • Problem-solving
  • Creativity
  • Critical thinking
  • Flexibility
  • Pronunciation
  • Fluency
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global perspective
  • Academic achievement
  • Linguistic structures
  • Grammar
  • Resource allocation
  • Curriculum overload
  • Language interference
  • Linguistic development
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