IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed

The tables and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed
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The table given shows the police budget,
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts illustrate where the
money
Use synonyms
 was allocated
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 2017 and 2018. The
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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police budget is measured in
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
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Pound
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of Pound
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 Sterling.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the biggest amount of
money
Use synonyms
 was distributed from the National Government.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most of the
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employee salaries. Regarding the police budget
sources
Use synonyms
, it is apparent that the National Government has allocated
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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money
Use synonyms
 in a big
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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 compared to the other means of funding
sources
Use synonyms
, about 175.5 in 2017 and 177.8 in 2018. Compared to the other two funding providers, namely local taxes and other
sources
Use synonyms
 like grants
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the total of which can not
surpassed
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surpass
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 the figure that the prior provider made.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the local taxes and other
sources
Use synonyms
 only distributed a third and approximately 10% of the total amount
in
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apply
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each
years
Change to a singular noun
year
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 respectively. In terms of the way the
money
Use synonyms
 was spent, about 75% of the
money
Use synonyms
 was distributed on officers and staff salaries in 2017, it
then
Linking Words
 saw a slight decrease to 69% in 2018.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there was only 8% of the funds allocated
on
Change preposition
to
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 technology in 2017 and 14% in 2018.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
money
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 distributed to buildings and transport
were remained
Change to the active voice
remained
have remained
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 the same at 17% in both years mentioned.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, sources with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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