Your child is going on a three-day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: • Say why you would like to go on the trip • Suggest what you could do to help during the trip • Ask other questions about the trip

#child #school #trip #country #head #teacher #parents #group #questions

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Dear Ms. Kaur, I would like to write a letter to participate in the trip which is held by your school in India.

Firstly

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, the main reason to work for

this

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trip is that I am born in India,

therefore

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, I can help you to discover places without any issue.

Secondly

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, I am a nurse who worked as

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RN in India before coming to Canada,

hence

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, it would be helpful for medical services during the tour.

Last

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, but not least, I am doing research on the milestones of toddlers to teenagers,

thus

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, I would like to work with children.

However

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, I have some questions regarding the trip

such

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as whether is there any cost to pay to reserve

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Moreover

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, could you please share the exact dates and location, so, I can make a plan?

Lastly

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, is accommodation free or not? It would be helpful for me. I am eagerly waiting for your response. Thanks in advance. Yours Sincerely, Gur

Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on Wed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your letter has a clear introductory paragraph where you address the head teacher properly and state your intention to join the trip. The body of your letter should be organized into clear paragraphs, each addressing a different point related to your willingness to help, what you can offer, and your questions about the trip. Finally, conclude your letter politely, expressing anticipation for a response.

task achievement

Your letter somewhat fulfills the task requirements, but lacks detail and specificity in explaining why you would like to join the trip. Expand on your reasons, clearly linking them to the benefits for the trip or pupils. Moreover, while you have suggested your capabilities, they need to be tied in directly to how they can assist during the trip. Also, make sure to specify any other questions you have about the trip as per the task. A slightly more formal tone would be appropriate for writing to a head teacher.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

160 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Enthusiastic
Chaperone
Itinerary
Accommodations
Logistics
Overseeing
Cultural exchange
Assist
Supervise
Engage
Responsibilities
Bilingual
First aid certified
Emergency protocols
Team-building activities
Communication skills
Safety measures
Childcare experience
Transport arrangements
Educational objectives

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