The most important aim of science should be to improved people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is said that the most important of
science
should be to enhance people
's quality of life. I strongly agree with this
, because of the undeniable importance of well-being.
Firstly
, in this
modern world, the speed of population growth is inevitably increasing, which results in the construction of megacities. This
overpopulation has caused some difficulties such
as spreading new or eradicated diseases, which in turn, can influence significantly people
's lives. Humankind needs to employ science
to be able to relieve pain and problems caused by such
diseases. For example
, in recent years, great achievements were accomplished by the vaccination industry when humans were faced with a big challenge called the Coronavirus. This
indicates that improving the public's quality of life should be considered the priority of science
.
In addition
, nowadays, the lack of adequate time
for people
to complete their home tasks is another challenege
which individuals have faced, and Correct your spelling
challenge
this
has had negative impacts on people
's lives. This
challenge is the result of a new lifestyle which requires to people
be engaged a great deal of their time
in work. This
lack of enough time
can easily overwhelme
Correct your spelling
overwhelm
overwhelmed
people
. As a result
, the level of anxiety and nervous
may increase and Replace the word
nervousness
people
's mental health would put
at risk. With the help of scientific successes in various fields, Add a missing verb
be put
such
as robotics, people
can save more time
, leading to stable mental health. For example
, by using robotic vacuum cleaners, simple and repetitive domestic tasks can be done, as a result
, more important tasks can be completed by individuals. Finally
, people
feel more relax
and calm.
In conclusion, it is true that Wrong verb form
relaxed
science
has had great achievements in each area, I strongly believe that the main purpose of science
should be to improve people
's quality of life . Because this
modern world has put unprecedented pressure on people
's mental and physical health.Submitted by hg1984 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in sentence structure to improve the flow of your ideas. For instance, pay attention to minor grammatical inaccuracies such as 'challenege' instead of 'challenge' and 'overwhleme' instead of 'overwhelm.'
task achievement
Although you provided relevant examples, adding more specific details can make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary can enhance the readability and quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the Coronavirus and robotic vacuum cleaners, to support your main points.
task achievement
Your arguments were clear and comprehensive, effectively addressing the prompt.