IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter:  explain why you need this time off  give details of when you want this time off  say who can do your work when you are away

#work #company #time #employer
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Dear Mr. Smith I am writing
this
 missive to request you, to allow me
take
Add the particle
to take
show examples
 a short break from
work
 as I am going through mental trauma after my father's death. His death has caused me immense pain which I did not anticipate
initially
. But now as days
are passing
Wrong verb form
pass
show examples
, it has become difficult for me to focus on
work
. I need
this
 time to settle emotionally and mentally. I want to start the break
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
next month as I will be able to finish my current project by
then
.
Moreover
, I will
also
 be able to
handover
Correct your spelling
hand over
show examples
 my
work
 to Paul who has been assisting me
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 three months and understand my line of
work
. I want one
month
Change noun form
month's
show examples
 leave as I will be
joing
Correct your spelling
joining
doing
 a meditation
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in Shimla. I assure you that I will resume my
work
 from 1st September
,
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apply
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 2024. I hope you understand my mental state and allow me to take
break
Add an article
a break
show examples
 for one month. I look forward
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your reply. Thank you
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 sincerely, Bindiya Gupta
Submitted by bindiya.gupta01 on

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suitable writing tone
Consider revising some phrases for improved formality. For example, instead of 'I am going through mental trauma', you could say 'I have been experiencing emotional distress.'
coherence
Ensure clarity by breaking up long sentences. Use shorter, succinct sentences to express your thoughts more clearly, especially when describing the details of your leave and who will handle your work.
complete response
The letter provides a comprehensive explanation of why the leave is needed, which contributes to a higher task achievement score.
greeting and closing
Your closing is very polite and professional, which leaves a positive impression.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • requesting time off
  • minimal disruption
  • capable colleague
  • cover responsibilities
  • workload management
  • urgent tasks
  • accessible
  • considering your request
  • contribute more effectively
  • appreciate
  • temporary absence
  • proactive planning
  • smooth transition
  • alternative arrangement
What to do next:
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