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Band 5

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #media #touch #news #outweigh
The uprising popularity of social
media
 has increased the interaction between
people
 and the rate of news transmission.
This
 essay is going to discuss the pros and cons of using social
media
 and how it may
jeapardise
Correct your spelling
jeopardise
jeopardize
 our personal growth if not handled properly.
To begin
 with, social
media
 brings
people
 closer. In the past, it was hard to know
people
 unless you
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 out to them
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a party.
However
,
upon
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the invention of social
media
, no matter how far the person is, you can communicate with him using your phone.
This
advocates
Verb problem
encourages
show examples
people
 to reach out to more
people
 on social
media
. Even saying happy birthday is as easy as posting a story on Instagram.
Thus
, the easiness of communication encourages
people
 to chat more and get to know each other more.
However
, social
media
 may cause addiction. The algorithm in social
media
 tends to encourage the user to stay on the platform,
such
 as TikTok provides shorts
according to
 your past viewing history. It is easy for the user to
scoll
Correct your spelling
scroll
 through
pages
Fix the agreement mistake
page
show examples
 after
pages
Fix the agreement mistake
page
show examples
 and waste a tremendous amount of time on social
media
.
Although
 it can be seen that social
media
 does
poses
Change the verb form
pose
show examples
 potential harm
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 certain
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of
people
, it is of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
vital importance that we set up
boundary
Fix the agreement mistake
boundaries
show examples
 when using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
,
such
 as setting
time
Add an article
a time
show examples
 limit on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
 usage. Through the use of time
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
, the problems of using social
media
 can be solved and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
 can be used safely.
Submitted by hardychau on

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relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples and evidence, such as statistics or studies, to support your points more effectively.
logical structure
While your essay has a clear structure, it would benefit from more developed paragraphs with clear topic sentences and transitions.
complete response
The essay provides a balanced view on both the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay's main points.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay addresses the task with comprehensive ideas and attempts to offer solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant communication
  • Geographical separation
  • Vital sources
  • Global events
  • Networking opportunities
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Digital interactions
  • Misinformation
  • Misiformed public opinions
  • Endanger
  • Excessive use
  • Addiction
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
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