IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

MamadjonovSamandar: The graph below shows four countries of residence pf overseas students in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make make comparisons where relevant

MamadjonovSamandar: The graph below shows four countries of residence pf overseas students in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make make comparisons where relevant
#mamadjonovsamandar #four #countries #residence #pf #students #australia #information #features #comparisons
The line graph illustrates
students
 from Indonesia,
Hong
Kong
, Malaysia and
Singapore
 living in
Australia
.
Overall
, the
number
 of
students
 living in
Australia
 increased over the years. The highest
number
 of student residences are from Indonesia. Even though most Malaysian
students
 were living in the beginning, it ended up being the country which has the least
number
 of
students
 in
Australia
.
Hong
Kong
, Indonesia and
Singapore
 had almost equal numbers of resident
students
 nearly 1000 in 1982.
Hong
Kong
 and
Singapore
 maintained the same
number
 until the year 1987.
Thereafter
,
Hong
Kong
's
number
 rapidly increased surpassing the
number
 of Indonesian
students
 and reaching up to ten thousand
students
 in 1992. Meanwhile, the
number
 of
students
 from
Singapore
 gradually increased to
end up
Verb problem
apply
show examples
near twenty-thousand and mark the second-highest
number
 of
students
 in
Australia
. Indonesian
students
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 steadily rose up until 1994 and got rapidly increased by 1998.
Thereafter
 it got reduced in
number
 to end up just above twenty-thousand
students
.
Submitted by lithmakumaradasa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "thereafter".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, hong, kong, singapore, australia, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: