Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What problems does this cause? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue?
when work time is over , and the person should be able to complete the day ,
also
Linking Words
his family requires
from
Change preposition
apply
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him the focus very well.
Conclusion
from
Change the preposition
in
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my opinion , the job and the socially important thing and no one can
gives
Change the verb form
give
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up , and he should develop himself to balance
between
Change preposition
apply
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Linking Words
this thing
Fix the agreement mistake
these things
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amenaalkhwaja80
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. This provides a logical framework and makes your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. This helps to illustrate your arguments and makes them more convincing.
general advice
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Improving these areas will help your ideas come across more clearly and professionally.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly, such as 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion,'
task achievement
Clarify your main points and make sure each paragraph has a central idea. This will make your essay easier to understand and more impactful.
task achievement
You have touched on the importance of both work and personal life, which is relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Your recognition of the need for balance and development shows a good understanding of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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There are two attitudes toward some notable careers, like medics and engineers. While they have been trained in their own country, the first group would argue that, for that reason, they should serve in their own country. Another attitude is that they should work wherever they want without limitation. In my view, they should have the chance to choose their destination for work, which is closer to the latter notion. This freedom of choice in career decisions is not just a fundamental right, but also a catalyst for significant personal and professional growth in the fields of medicine and engineering.
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