IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The roads in major cities today are often difficult to travel on. What are the causes of this situation ? What is the solution ?

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Over the
last
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 few decades,some
roads
Use synonyms
 in main
cities
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 have been involved
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 some difficulties to go on.
It is clear that
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 the majority of travellers may not be able to have a trip on some ruined
roads
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.
This
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 essay will look at some causes of these difficulties which need to be tackled urgently and
also
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 I will propose some significant solutions. Let's begin by looking at some reasons
of
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for
show examples
 being tough
roads
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 in capital
cities
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.
Firstly
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,one of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 is the climate change in these regions.It is considered that the majority of
roads
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 in crowded
cities
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 are being destroyed because of scorching weather in summer and
also
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 cold weather in winter.
In other words
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,high and low
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
 might affect
on
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apply
show examples
blacktops with vulnerable materials.Another striking reason for
this
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 issue is that the
government
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 would have not been able to
coustrcut
Correct your spelling
construct
 new
roads
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 for passing through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars
due to
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 the fact that the expenses are so high.
In other words
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,the mayoralty may not have sufficient resources for erecting new
roads
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. Turning to the side of the solutions,to tackle
this
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 issue the
government
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 should bring in laws for using the best material in order to build proper blacktops.If the administration
consume
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consumes
show examples
 a suitable product
in
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on
show examples
Use synonyms
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
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,people will not have problems
to travel on
Change the verb form
travelling
show examples
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
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 in low or high
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
.Dealing with the issue of high costs the
government
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 should allocate
budget
Correct article usage
a budget
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 so as to structure new
road
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roads
show examples
 in large
cities
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.
Moreover
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,not only can the
government
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 improve the
sitation
Correct your spelling
situation
 of travelling on these
roads
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,but
also
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 they can decline the expense of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
repairing streets.
To conclude
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,some streets in bigger
cities
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 may cause significant problems
to travel
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in traveling
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 to other areas.It is true that in major
cities
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 people are not very keen on travelling because of some tough situations
in
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on
show examples
 the streets.
As a result
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,these reasons will remain unchanged unless the
government
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 try to solve them.

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coherence cohesion
Try to refine and organize your ideas more logically within each paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and that the following sentences support it smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Use connectors and linking words to improve the flow of your essay and enhance coherence. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Aim to provide more specific examples to add depth to your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and illustrate your ideas better.
task achievement
Rephrase some of your sentences for clarity and accuracy. This will help ensure your ideas are understood clearly and accurately.
task achievement
Your essay covers both the causes and solutions of the issue, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your argument well.
task achievement
Good use of vocabulary and attempts to address a wide range of ideas related to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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