Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?
In today's contemporary and advanced society, some individuals are vigorously concerned about the information they can come across on the internet, in the sense of entailing severe repercussions,
such
as the traumatizing psychological stance of young springs and mankind in general. However
, there is a strong likelihood that the government is able to rectify the issue via
providing access to certain websites with only a control feature. I profoundly give credence to that owing to the capability of depletion adversely serendipity Change preposition
by
also
remains an opportunity to have sufficient control for utilization.
To begin
with, it is undoubtedly that unacceptable content is a colossal impediment which is needed
to be tackled. Wrong verb form
that needs
Moreover
, the home security system feature implemented, for instance
in YouTube allows a tremendous quantity of families to look after their children and exclude the possibility of running across it by accident. For
this
reason, the arrogant and cruel content that is
able to damage the fragile concessions of kids can be eliminated by just turning on the bottom on any website, such
as Amazon, Google, Facebook, and so many others.
Coherently going with the second an auspicious virtue of supplying indispensable censorship for the internet. As far as the authorities are obliged to alter the current situation with an aforementioned issue, granting the possibility to surf the internet freely is vital. Correspondingly, the control feature debars only the opportunity to view the materials until the user switches it on. The alluring sample of it is the YouTube platform again which gives this
trait. Thus
, parents, relatives, and people, in essence, can vary the circumstances of using. What's more, within that system even the young generation can be deprived of unpleasant videos, articles, etc. by establishing a password from their parents.
To conclude
the previous information, I firmly believe and advocate for adjusting and making amendments to the paramount problem of nowadays community in social webnets.Submitted by kirkagoglesmail on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the government's role in regulating internet content, and you offer relevant examples, such as YouTube's control feature. However, your ideas could be expressed more clearly by simplifying some of the language and improving sentence structure. For instance, phrases like 'depletion adversely serendipity' are confusing and disrupt the flow of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into more distinct paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on one main point. This will improve the logical flow and make your argument easier to follow. You could structure it as follows: introduction, first argument, second argument, counterargument (if any), and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided clear examples to support your points, such as the use of the safe mode feature on YouTube. This strengthens your argument and makes it more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to framing the essay. This shows good awareness of essay structure.