In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Several nations across the globe are experiencing a growth in
population
of individuals choosing to leave their hometown in the village to live in Add an article
the population
cities
. The population in rural regions is therefore
shrinking. I believe that this
kind of situation is a sign of negative development, since it might cause the rise of unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
rate
in cities
and a decrease in workers on
villages simultaneously.
One of the most significant drawbacks of Change preposition
in
such
phenomenon
is the increasing Correct article usage
a phenomenon
rate
of unemployment in cities
. People
who used to live in the countryside believed that there were lots of better job opportunities in cities
, especially in the capital city. However
, many of them are not supported by sufficient educational background, which makes them not qualified for working
in the Replace the word
work
cities
. To illustrate, many urban in Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, ended up being unemployed after months trying
to look for a suitable job and were forced to go back to their hometown by the government.
Change preposition
of trying
In addition
, the rising numbers of people
left
Wrong verb form
leaving
the
rural areas will Correct article usage
apply
make
a deficit in Verb problem
create
workforce
in Add an article
the workforce
such
particular region
. Fix the agreement mistake
regions
This
is due to
the lack of young people
, especially those are
in productive ages. Meanwhile, in the longer term, the elders in the village could no longer able to work. Correct pronoun usage
who are
Therefore
, communities within countryside areas could not develop their own hometown which might lead to a growth in poverty rate
. For instance
, there are several villages in
Sulawesi Island in Indonesia experiencing Change preposition
on
shortage
of rice Add an article
a shortage
due to
lack
of farmers, since more than half of the population are Correct article usage
a lack
people
above 50 years old and no young people
able
to help them do the farming.
In conclusion, the rising proportion of urban is a sign of negative development for the country. Add a missing verb
are able
Such
kind of trend will increase rate
of unemployment in Add an article
the rate
cities
, while
on the other hand
, there is a declining number of workforce in rural areas.Submitted by michellyonggo on
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grammar
Review grammatical rules to minimize errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and article usage.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that directly supports the thesis statement. Avoid overly long or complicated sentences.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and relevant response to the prompt, addressing the negative impacts of rural-to-urban migration.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and effectively frame the argument.
evidence
The essay employs relevant specific examples to support its main points, which enhances the overall argument.
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