Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasions for your answer and include my relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Prison
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is the best solution for gathering
crimanls
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criminals
criminal
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
with the significant increase in
crime
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rates
Use synonyms
. Which presents the argument of either increasing
prison
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sentenses
Correct your spelling
sentences
sentence
or finding other solutions to fight
crime
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I
beleive
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believe
that finding other solutions is more
efficent
Correct your spelling
efficient
for fighting
crime
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rates
Use synonyms
. Some people view that longer
peison
Correct your spelling
prison
sentences
has
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have
show examples
a greater impact on
crime
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numbers.
This
Linking Words
view can be
justifed
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justified
by thinking that
crimanls
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criminals
will rot in
prision
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prison
leaving them hopeless after getting out.
Since staying
Change preposition
Staying
show examples
in the same place for a great amount of time will have an impact on one's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Which could teach them how to hold themselves in many situations.
Aditionally
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Additionally
, they could think that staying in
prison
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for
such
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a long period of time will make them question their actions and impact other people by spreading the fear of being kept in
prison
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for years.
While
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others think that finding
alternitive
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alternative
ways is a better
option
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which I
completley
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completely
agree with. The first
option
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could be
efficent
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efficient
sufficient
.
However
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, it won't enhance productivity among those criminals. Things
such
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as allowing criminals to work in certain
feilds
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fields
and aspects of life could teach them a lesson.
Furthermore
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, when they blend in with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soceity
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society
the
amount
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number
show examples
of moments of
relaization
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realisation
that they will be caught by will make them even better
indivisuals
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individuals
individual
. They are even more exposed to severe internal
inbalance
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imbalance
show examples
if they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
in
prison
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than trying to blend with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
. Which makes it a better
option
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in reducing
crime
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rates
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, finding
alterntive
Correct your spelling
alternative
ways
instead
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of increasing
prison
Use synonyms
sentenses
Correct your spelling
sentences
sentence
is a better
option
Use synonyms
to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
. Especially the
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trigger
triger
Correct your spelling
trigger
of the mental conditions a criminal might face
while
Linking Words
being in
Correct your spelling
prison
prision
Correct your spelling
prison
Submitted by hamdanaldehaihani37 on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Personal or well-known real-life incidents can add depth to your points.
task achievement
Ensure all sides of the argument are equally represented. You've focused more on your viewpoint and less on the opposing one. Balancing your essay will offer a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
Improve your logical flow by clearly linking ideas between paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases more effectively to achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more robust. Clearly state your thesis in the introduction and succinctly summarize your key points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using repetitive phrases and ensure each main point is adequately supported. This will help improve the overall clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents two different perspectives on addressing crime rates: longer prison sentences and alternative solutions.
task achievement
There is a clear expression of your own opinion, which indicates a personal stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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