Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasions for your answer and include my relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Prison
is the best solution for gathering crimanls
Correct your spelling
criminals
criminal
especially
with the significant increase in Add the comma(s)
, especially
crime
rates
. Which presents the argument of either increasing prison
sentenses
or finding other solutions to fight Correct your spelling
sentences
sentence
crime
rates
. In my opinion, I beleive
that finding other solutions is more Correct your spelling
believe
efficent
for fighting Correct your spelling
efficient
crime
rates
.
Some people view that longer peison
sentences Correct your spelling
prison
has
a greater impact on Change the verb form
have
crime
numbers. This
view can be justifed
by thinking that Correct your spelling
justified
crimanls
will rot in Correct your spelling
criminals
prision
leaving them hopeless after getting out. Correct your spelling
prison
Since staying
in the same place for a great amount of time will have an impact on one's Change preposition
Staying
behavior
. Which could teach them how to hold themselves in many situations. Change the spelling
behaviour
Aditionally
, they could think that staying in Correct your spelling
Additionally
prison
for such
a long period of time will make them question their actions and impact other people by spreading the fear of being kept in prison
for years.
While
others think that finding alternitive
ways is a better Correct your spelling
alternative
option
which I completley
agree with. The first Correct your spelling
completely
option
could be efficent
. Correct your spelling
efficient
sufficient
However
, it won't enhance productivity among those criminals. Things such
as allowing criminals to work in certain feilds
and aspects of life could teach them a lesson. Correct your spelling
fields
Furthermore
, when they blend in with the
Correct article usage
apply
soceity
the Correct your spelling
society
amount
of moments of Change the quantifier
number
relaization
that they will be caught by will make them even better Correct your spelling
realisation
indivisuals
. They are even more exposed to severe internal Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
inbalance
if they Correct your spelling
imbalance
were
in Wrong verb form
are
prison
than trying to blend with the
Correct article usage
apply
soceity
. Which makes it a better Correct your spelling
society
option
in reducing crime
rates
.
In conclusion, finding alterntive
ways Correct your spelling
alternative
instead
of increasing prison
sentenses
is a better Correct your spelling
sentences
sentence
option
to reduce crime
rates
. Especially the Correct your spelling
trigger
triger
of the mental conditions a criminal might face Correct your spelling
trigger
while
being in Correct your spelling
prison
prision
Correct your spelling
prison
Submitted by hamdanaldehaihani37 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Personal or well-known real-life incidents can add depth to your points.
task achievement
Ensure all sides of the argument are equally represented. You've focused more on your viewpoint and less on the opposing one. Balancing your essay will offer a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
Improve your logical flow by clearly linking ideas between paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases more effectively to achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more robust. Clearly state your thesis in the introduction and succinctly summarize your key points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using repetitive phrases and ensure each main point is adequately supported. This will help improve the overall clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents two different perspectives on addressing crime rates: longer prison sentences and alternative solutions.
task achievement
There is a clear expression of your own opinion, which indicates a personal stance on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.