Some companies sponsor sport as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good for the world of sports, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
this
current generation,
Sports
have a greater influence among the young generation
as well as
other age groups. There is an exponential increase in the growth of
sport's
Change noun form
sports
show examples
fields as evidenced by various growth charts stated by the economy. There is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
argument among the people that, sponsorship
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
sports
team
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them to boost their
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
which
also
helps for the development of
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
industry,
whereas
others tend to believe that there could be some negative impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
sports
field by doing so. From my own perspective, I think that advertisement helps to boost their economic leverage.
Firstly
, We talk about the advantages of
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertising
for the
sports
industry. The companies which help to tie a dealership with the
sports
team
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
to boost their
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
advancement. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they pay a huge investment to a particular
team
as a part of their dealership.
This
payment helps the
team
to improve their facilities
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, buy new
player's
Change noun form
players
show examples
, staffing members,
technological
Correct word choice
and technological
show examples
advancements that
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
to boost their values and interest.
This
investment from that particular advertisement industry allows them to expand their
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
strength by shooting their ads with that particular
team
. If the
team
has more popularity
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
helps them to boost their leverage. The example that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
stick with
this
particular
statement
is, There is a football
team
in
spain
Change the capitalization
Spain
show examples
called FC Barcelona, under
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain circumstances, the
team
was going through
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
certain financial difficulties. At that time there were
none
Correct quantifier usage
no
show examples
active sponsors to support the
team
, but now the
team
got a hand from certain sponsors which helps them to balance their
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
books.
Secondly
, The
statement
that some people
opposes
Correct subject-verb agreement
oppose
show examples
the first
statement
is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they believe it could destroy the
team
values and relationship with the fans. And could
also
affect the
team
spirit, because players could spend more time
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing ads. The example for
this
statement
is, Nowadays, the football teams
is
Verb problem
spend
show examples
more time doing ads and
also
the players themselves cut a deal with the private sponsorship for their own good and have less concentration on the
sports
field. From my view, I support
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the first
statement
and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
stated some strong opinions
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
the
statement
. In Conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
Change the noun form
sport
show examples
is an influential field for making money
as well as
entertainment
Change preposition
for entertainment
show examples
purposes.
Submitted by akashjoseph88 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and use more topic sentences to guide the reader through your arguments. Better structure will improve coherence.
task achievement
Improve on providing specific examples that effectively support your claims. Make sure the examples are directly related to the points being made.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and ensure sentence structure is varied and clear. This will help in achieving better clarity and comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing key points and restating your opinion more clearly. This helps in enhancing the logical structure and completeness of the response.
task achievement
Good effort in presenting both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
The essay is relevant to the topic and provides some specific examples, albeit needing more clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sponsor
  • advertisement
  • financial support
  • athletes
  • sporting events
  • visibility
  • popularity
  • promotion
  • marketing
  • integrity
  • commercialized
  • profit-driven
  • unequal distribution
  • pressure
  • corporate interests
  • grassroots level
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