IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that money spent on space exploration is a waste and could be better used to fund other urgent problems in society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #money #space #exploration #waste #fund #society
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Nowadays life on
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earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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 is becoming more and more precarious and
therefore
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 many people believe that we should explore options in
space
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.
However
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, others argue that there are far more pressing concerns on
earth
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 and that we should deal with them first. I tend to agree with the first group , and in
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I will argue that
space
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exploration
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 is essential for the survival of mankind. Let us look at the arguments against spending vast amounts of money on
space
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. It is an undeniable fact that the environment is in a dire situation because of man-made problems
such
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 as global warming. If we
invested
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invest
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 more money into solving
this
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 problem, we might not need to look for other places to live.
In addition
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, there are serious health issues
such
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 as cancer and diabetes that need to be tackled as a matter of urgency. These cause great suffering to millions of people and a cure could easily be found if there was adequate funding.
Although
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 the arguments above are valid, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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 there is evidence to suggest that
space
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exploration
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 could bring a number of solutions to our problems here on
earth
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. With more international
space
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 stations,
for example
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, we would be able to predict and prevent extreme weather patterns and monitor natural disasters more effectively.
As a result
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, our life on
earth
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 would be safer. It must
also
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 be noted that
space
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exploration
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 has been responsible for the development of many life-saving inventions
such
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 as radiation treatments which have increased our life expectancy dramatically.
To conclude
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, there will always be difficult problems to deal with on
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earth
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Earth
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, but
space
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exploration
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 might provide long-term solutions that have yet to be discovered
yet
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apply
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. I believe we should continue to fund experiments in
space
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 so that we have a Plan B which may end up being our only real hope for the future.
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coherence cohesion
Although the essay presents a logical flow, further efforts can be made to more seamlessly connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, the transition between the argument against space spending and the rebuttal could be smoother to enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay could include more specific examples or data points to substantiate the claims, particularly when discussing the benefits of space exploration.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion
task achievement
Main points are supported with relevant examples and explanations
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