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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people’s #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The bar chart indicates the
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea purchasing and consuming habits of Australian citizens in five
cities
Use synonyms
 during the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that the majority of Australians were really into going to café to buy
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea, which accounted for 57% of the total figure on average, followed by the habits of buying
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 and fresh ones respectively. Except for Adelaine where the data of
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 consumers was leading. On one hand, Melbourne and Hobart were two
cities
Use synonyms
 that had the largest proportion of people wanting to buy
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea at café, which was 64% in both
cities
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
on the other hand
Linking Words
, Adelaine tended to have the smallest percentage, which was only 49%. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of the habit of buying
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
, Hobart still had the dominating position. To be more specific, there was 54% of Hobart’s clients had the habit of consuming packaged
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 period.
While
Linking Words
 Hobart was dominating in
this
Linking Words
 category
last
Linking Words
 month, Sydney was at the bottom of
this
Linking Words
 group, where the data of
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 consumers was only 45%.
However
Linking Words
, Sydney had the highest percentage of those who were keen on fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
, which was 43% in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks. At the same time, the proportion of fresh
coffee
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 clients in Brisbane accounted for only 34%, which was the lowest among
five
Correct article usage
the five
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, instant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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