IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graphs below show the number of visitors to two cities in a given year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the number of visitors to two cities in a given year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #show #visitors #two #cities #year #information #features #comparisons
The line chart illustrates the
number
 of
visitors
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 an island in
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
show examples
across
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2010 to 2017.
Overall
, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 a drastic increase in the
number
visitors
Change preposition
of visitors
show examples
 across the years, with a rapid
increas
Correct your spelling
increase
 in the
number
 of tourists staying on the island and
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
 increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
visitors
 on cruise ships.
To begin
 with, the
number
 of tourists increased drastically from 1
millions
Change to a singular noun
million
show examples
 to over 2.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2015,
then
 it went stagnant in 2016 and
then
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to the peak of 3.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2017.
Then
, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 under 1
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 cruise
ships
Change the noun form
ship
show examples
visitors
 from 2010 to 2011, but there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a sudden surge after 2011 to 1.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2013. The
number
 remains relatively stable throughout the years
except
Add the preposition
except for
show examples
 a drop to nearly 1.2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2016.
On the other hand
, the
number
 of on-land
visitors
 remained under 0.5
million
 with
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 fluctuation from 2010 to 2013, but it rose continuously and drastically from 0.5
million
 in 0.5
million
 to 2
million
 in 2017, replacing cruise ships as the most favoured mode of travel in the
islan
Correct your spelling
island
.
Submitted by hardychau on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, millions, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: