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Band 6.5

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

#parents #children #consequences #style
Parenthood has its own set of challenges, and parenting methods are the foremost among the other challenges. It is argued that a permissive parenting style should not be adopted as it leads to negative long-term consequences.
This
 essay explores why
this
 is not a recommended method and what implications
this
 ideology may have. At the outset,
parents
 should always be in charge of executing decisions for their
children
. To explain
this
 idea, since
parents
 are familiar with their
children
's needs, they precisely know when to submit themselves to their offspring's requests.
Parents
 are known to cultivate persona and bring up
children
, that nourish and nurture their identities and potentials which turns them into better, more efficient and more responsible individuals. To cite an example, had
parents
 started listening to all the wishes of
children
, it would have led to unforeseen detriments that impacted all aspects of life considerably.
Thus
, it is imperative to let
children
 have autonomy circumstantially.
Furthermore
, several outcomes of permissive parenting may prove to be disadvantageous for
children
.
In other words
, not only does
such
 a parenting method spoil
children
, but
also
 makes them self-centred;owing to
this
, these
children
 may never be able to collaborate with others or be considerate of other's feelings and emotions.
For instance
, rarely do
children
, brought up with love solely, be thoughtful towards others.
Thus
,
parents
 should acknowledge that in order to produce thriving individuals, it is imperative to instil qualities that would benefit their offspring, socially and individually. To encapsulate, it can be concluded that in zeal of addressing all commands of
children
, there is a risk of inadvertently neglecting resultant formidable challenges that have the potential to harm others. It is common for
children
 to pester their
parents
, but it is, inarguably,
parents
' responsibility to take favourable steps in
this
 regard.
Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on

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task achievement
Your essay can be more persuasive if you include more specific and diverse examples. This helps in effectively supporting your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the transition between paragraphs. Although your ideas are relevant, smoother transitions can make your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Including a stronger and more detailed conclusion can help encapsulate your main points effectively, ensuring your essay leaves a lasting impression.
task achievement
Your essay covers the topic comprehensively, addressing both the question and its implications thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and your position on it, setting up a clear framework for the essay.
task achievement
You provide insightful reasons on why permissive parenting may not be suitable, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgent
  • entitlement
  • discipline
  • responsibility
  • nurturing
  • self-reliance
  • adversity
  • autonomy
  • validation
  • dependence
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