While many advocate for the necessity of obtaining a higher education, others argue that it is not essential for success in today’s diverse job market. Discuss both views regarding the necessity of higher education and give your opinion.
Recently, it
is
argued that Wrong verb form
has been
pursues
Wrong verb form
pursuing
a
higher Remove the article
apply
education
is crucial, while
others believe that it relies in
today's diverse career Change the preposition
on
upon
market
not
because of educational levels to success. I personally believe that Add the comma(s)
, not
a
higher Remove the article
apply
education
will occur
Verb problem
create
job
opportunities, and high-salaries
, Correct your spelling
high salaries
however
, it is also
due to
the limitation
of Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
job
Add an article
the job
market
.
There are several reasons why people believe that a
higher Remove the article
apply
education
is the
necessity. Correct article usage
a
First,
job
opportunities are predominant
reason, which Add an article
the predominant
are
required a top class Change the verb form
is
of
educational level. Change preposition
apply
For example
, doctor
, Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
engineering
, and Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
auditor
Fix the agreement mistake
auditors
are needed
Wrong verb form
need
extremely
academic Change the word
extreme
background
to get Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
in
the position. Change preposition
into
Furthermore
, these jobs offer high-salaries
to them, which supports them to improve their personal and professional living standards. Correct your spelling
high salaries
Consequently
, a mojority
of people tend to chase a high ranking of knowledge.
On the other Correct your spelling
majority
hands
, the Fix the agreement mistake
hand
limatation
of career Correct your spelling
limitation
limitations
market
spaces are also
cosidered
Correct your spelling
considered
as
a crucial part to be Change preposition
apply
successed
. Correct your spelling
success
Unemployments
Fix the agreement mistake
Unemployment
are
increasing recently Verb problem
has
due to
the population rose
dramatically. Wrong verb form
rising
As a result
, numerous companies are not required to recruit new staffs
in their firms because they already have permanent employees to respond Fix the agreement mistake
staff
on
their Change preposition
to
works
, Fix the agreement mistake
work
eventhrough
, Correct your spelling
even
they
have a higher knowledge background applying for positions. Correct word choice
though they
For instance
, IT positions in Australia are
high Wrong verb form
have had
demands
since Fix the agreement mistake
demand
last
decade but these days, there are no more recruited because they are already Correct article usage
the last
completed
Change preposition
in complete
demands
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
demand
a
higher Remove the article
apply
education
is essential to obtain, which will provides
a few benefits Change the verb form
provide
such
as job
placements, and a high income to improve standard
Correct article usage
the standard
living
, Change preposition
of living
nevertheless
, there are also
because of jobs market
space. I strongly believe a higher education
and job
Correct article usage
a job
market
are necessery
needed to be successful.Correct your spelling
necessary
Submitted by Date
on
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task achievement
Your essay should have a clearer introduction that succinctly outlines the two views and your opinion. Your current introduction lacks clarity and appears a bit confused.
task achievement
Work on providing more detailed and relevant examples to support your points. For instance, explain how specific degrees directly lead to higher job opportunities and how market limitations affect employment.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and that your supporting sentences directly relate to that idea. This will improve the logical flow and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Refine the conclusion to better summarize your main points and restate your opinion more clearly.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, which is essential for this task.
task achievement
The essay mentions specific job fields, making your points more concrete.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt to discuss sociological trends, such as increasing unemployment, which adds depth to your argument.
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