It is thought by some that is better to live in a city while others believe it is better to live in the countryside. Discuss both views.

Cities
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In cities
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and
countryside
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the countryside
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people
both
are
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apply
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adapted to their way of living.
However
, some
people
think that
city
life is better and
also
others believe that
countryside
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the countryside
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is
much
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a much
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more
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apply
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better place to live.
This
essay will talk about both views in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, the metropolitan
city
fulfills
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fulfils
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the
people
's needs easily as there are lots of supermarkets, schools, hospitals,
restraunts
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restaurants
and malls.
Furthermore
, there are
also
various job opportunities for
the
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apply
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youngsters who are in search
for
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of
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building their
career
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careers
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.
For example
, the number of teenagers who travel from villages and towns to cities for seeking and towns to cities for seeking jobs and
also
for their career growth
are
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is
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high.
On the other hand
, the
countryside
is a place where
people
move to be peaceful and to spend their leisure time. There
are
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is
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relatively
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a relatively
the relatively
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lesser
Correct word choice
fewer
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source
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sources
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of entertainment than in the metropolis but,
people
are fascinated by the scenery and the
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
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environment
countryside
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the countryside
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provides an individual.
In addition
,
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the villageside
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villageside
Correct your spelling
village side
is
also
pollution free and the
people
are not affected by the harmful gases that are emitted from the automobiles.
For instance
, the villagers are less prone to catch lung disorders as they work
on
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in
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the fields and
they
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apply
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maintain a healthy diet and routine.
To conclude
, I believe that both
city
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the city
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and
countryside
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the countryside
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are better to live in depending on our needs. Many young
people
prefer to live in a metropolitan
city
and the elders prefer a peaceful
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
like
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
countryside
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
While the essay discusses both views, it lacks depth in the arguments. Including more detailed explanations and a more balanced discussion would improve the essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is generally good but can be improved by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using more cohesive devices like 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' or 'However,' can help.
task achievement
Providing specific examples that thoroughly illustrate your points would strengthen your argument. For instance, citing specific studies or reports can make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to eliminate repetitive phrases and typos to enhance clarity. For example, correcting phrases like 'for seeking and towns to cities for seeking jobs' will help maintain the flow and clarity of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which summarize the central ideas of the discussion.
task achievement
The discussion about the advantages of city and countryside living shows an understanding of both perspectives.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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