Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form of punishment However, others hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #individuals #law #prison #form #punishment #alternatives #lawbreakers

It is a heated argument around the world whether culprits stay behind

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bars or not when they break

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

law

, Some believe that criminals should be jailed,

Change preposition

show examples

prison,

where as

Correct your spelling

whereas

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

others say that there are more ways to handle them.

This

essay discusses both

view pointe

Correct your spelling

viewpoints

show examples

and I strongly agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand,

law breakers

Correct your spelling

lawbreakers

show examples

should sent to imprisonment because prison is a rehabilitation

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

of they have a chance to rectify their mistakes.

This

means. they should feel guilty

Change preposition

about

show examples

what they did in jail,

besides

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they do

Correct pronoun usage

it more

show examples

frequently.

For example

, taking from

Correct article usage

a criminal's

show examples

criminal's

Change noun form

criminal

show examples

community

, and

send

Wrong verb form

sent

show examples

to prison, normal people might live peaceful lives without inmates Surrounding and

threating

Correct your spelling

threatening

to individuals. Needless to say, culprits should be jailed, and they should realise what they did.

Conversely

, there are some effective ways to handle

law breakers

Correct your spelling

lawbreakers

show examples

, namely counselling, social

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and fines;

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are considered

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apply

show examples

what crime they committed.

This

helps to realise their mistake when they do

community

works

Correct subject-verb agreement

work

show examples

coupled with

serve

Replace the word

serving

show examples

nations

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apply

show examples

freely in order

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for

show examples

the government will finish their work free of cost workforce.

For instance

traffic

Correct article usage

a traffic

show examples

law

break

Verb problem

does

show examples

not need to

Add a missing verb

be sent

show examples

sent

Verb problem

apply

show examples

jail

Fix the infinitive

to jail

show examples

, they should pay some fine to the ruling party, and

as a result

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

cost of

hefty

Add an article

the hefty

show examples

amount they cannot

carry

Verb problem

make

show examples

any mistakes their whole life.

Hence

, there are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

constructive methods of

punishments

Fix the agreement mistake

punishment

show examples

that

diminishing

Wrong verb form

diminish

show examples

illegal activities. In conclusion,

although

staying behind

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bars

Change preposition

apply

show examples

criminals have a chance to realise their mistakes, punishments of fines and

community

work

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can be effective strategies

Change preposition

for

show examples

reducing crimes.

However

, from my perspective, providing

community

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and fines are the constructive methods of

this

trend.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Wed Jul 10 2024

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task achievement

Ensure your introduction provides a clearer background and purpose of the essay. Summarize both opinions accurately.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more logically and coherently. Each paragraph should focus on one main point, and transitions between paragraphs need enhancement.

task achievement

Elaborate your points more clearly. Use specific examples and more details to support your argument and make your ideas more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Proofread for grammatical and lexical errors. This will improve your clarity and overall coherence.

task achievement

The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides a personal opinion, fulfilling the task requirement.

task achievement

Some relevant specific examples have been provided to support the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form of punishment However, others hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? And what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

In some countries, it is now possible for people to buy products made in other countries. To what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the problems?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasizes that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost.