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Band 7.5

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

#people #schools #students #pupils #school #term #option #children #debate #conclusion
Several learning institutes offer residential areas to accommodate
students
 belonging to the outskirts or rural regions.
While
 a set of population believes that boarding
schools
 cultivate individuality, others oppose
this
 view by emphasizing the absence of family bonding in boarding
schools
.
Nevertheless
, it seems that boarding
schools
 play a pivotal role in the educational system in various ways that should be considered. On the one hand, proponents of boarding
schools
 advocate that
such
 institutes shape the personalities and instil a sense of responsibility in pupils.
In other words
, not only do hostels educate residents to be responsible, but
also
 make them disciplined; these potentials are of paramount importance, and can, inarguably, be harnessed in order to expand the horizons of learning.
For example
, it is well-known that
students
 living in hostels face certain hardships that are not witnessed in home settings; the outcome of those lessons adds to the personalities of these individuals.
Thus
, there is no gainsaying that the hostel environment provides unparalleled challenges that refine skills and devise innovative ideas of survival, which ultimately cause massive improvements in
students
' personality traits.
On the other hand
, many
students
 can simply not thrive in cultural diversity. To elaborate on
this
, since pupils from diverse backgrounds inhabit hostels, they are the commonplace of cultural stereotypes and cultural shocks, which can be overwhelming for some
students
.
For instance
, dwellers of boarding
schools
 usually vary in terms of their habits, religions and traditions, which can negatively influence some candidates, and may potentially lead to bigoted behaviours.
Hence
, it requires a lot more endurance to survive in
such
 environments, owing to the challenges and defiance that frequently happen in dorms. To encapsulate, it can be concluded that despite equally weighing disadvantages, boarding
schools
 possess numerous advantages ranging from disciplined endeavours to gaining autonomy, that prepare individuals for future life early on.
Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on

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task response
Your response is generally clear and well-organized. However, you can enhance the completeness of your response by including more varied specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
While your points are clear and logically structured, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using transitional phrases or sentences at the beginning or end of paragraphs to aid coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and provides a clear, final opinion or statement. This will help to reinforce your argument and leave a strong impression on the reader.
task response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view of both sides of the debate.
coherence and cohesion
You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
Your points are supported with relevant reasons and some examples, contributing to the clarity and strength of your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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