The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?(KN)
Over the
last
few decades,using social media
has risen dramatically in the world.It is clear that
the usage of digital networking is affecting in
Change preposition
apply
every one's
life.As a matter of Replace the word
everyone's
fact
there are a lot of various pros and cons of using social Add a comma
fact,
media
for people.In this
essay
I will address some advantages and disadvantages of Add a comma
essay,
this
and I will draw my own view.
Let's begin by looking at some benefits of digital networking.Firstly
,each person can start up a new business in
social Change preposition
on
media
and advertise it in order to earn a lot of money.Generally speaking,the majority of people are using some applications such
as Instagram and telegram
for producing content so as to attract more customers.Capitalize word
Telegram
Secondly
,social media
may be entertainment for all community
and they can explore videos or photos that they are interested in watching them.Fix the agreement mistake
communities
In it
condiered that,introducing these apps has made it easier to research and find daily topics.
Turning to the other side of the argument,social networks might have several drawbacks for individuals.One of the main demerits is that the accounts of users can be hacked by some unknown resources.Change preposition
It
In other words
,not only may the users lose their private account,but also
they might miss their significant data such
as bank information and
etc.Another disadvantage Correct word choice
apply
for
social communication is that it would be addictive for young people like children or juveniles.Clearly,if youngsters know about Change preposition
of
extended
accessibility of social Correct article usage
the extended
platform
,they will not notice Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
about
their lessons as much as before.
Change preposition
apply
To conclude
,despite the fact that public network
might be practical for new businesses and Fix the agreement mistake
networks
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
provides
glamorous topics,Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
It
Correct pronoun usage
They
also
can be harmful because of hacking resources and compulsive contents
.In my view,the benefits of using social Fix the agreement mistake
content
media
outweigh the drawbacks.Submitted by TUTOO on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. For instance, explicitly linking the benefits and drawbacks of social media can help your argument flow more naturally.
Task Achievement
Although you mention several advantages and disadvantages, providing specific examples and evidence to support your points would make them more compelling. Try to incorporate real-world examples or data to back up your arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in setting the context and summarizing the argument effectively.
Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of using social media, presenting a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, making it easy for readers to follow your argument.