Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?
Obesity
, a serious condition once only related to adults, is increasingly affecting Use synonyms
children
in the present day. Use synonyms
One
of the main causes is the increase in sedentary lifestyles and highly processed feed among Use synonyms
children
, resulting in the necessity of policies to stimulate exercise and food education to resolve Use synonyms
this
problem.
The increase of highly processed and sugar-rich food in modern times, Linking Words
such
as junk foods, which are cheaper and easier to eat, is Linking Words
one
of the primary causes of overweight in young people worldwide. Use synonyms
In addition
, the lack of exercise nowadays Linking Words
due to
the preference to play video games and mobile devices rather than playing outside with their friend is another factor. Linking Words
Besides
, most parents do not stimulate their Linking Words
children
to play sports because they are busy enough to encourage them. Use synonyms
For example
, in Brazil, the number of Linking Words
children
who play in after-school team sports has dropped significantly over the Use synonyms
last
decade.
Linking Words
One
of the best solutions to Use synonyms
this
problem is the education of Linking Words
children
about the dangers of being severely overweight in the future. Because, if Use synonyms
children
understand the types of diseases associated with Use synonyms
obesity
, they will be more aware of what they are eating. Use synonyms
Moreover
, they will realize the real need for physical activity for their health, which, Linking Words
together with
the introduction of more exercises in the curriculum of schools, would encourage them to participate in more sports, allow them to burn calories, and avoid weight gain. Take schools where Linking Words
children
are required to participate in at least Use synonyms
one
team sport as an example, these places have lower Use synonyms
obesity
rates.
In conclusion, many Use synonyms
children
are being affected with overweight by the consequence of eating unhealthy food combined with sedentarism. Use synonyms
However
, with education policies to give enough information about the risks of Linking Words
obesity
in the future and the stimulation of exercise at school, the problem can be diminished.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical progression between sentences and paragraphs.
For example: 'In Brazil, the number of children who play after-school team sports has dropped significantly over the last decade.' This sentence could be connected more smoothly to the rest of the paragraph.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive explanation of obesity's health implications to enhance the task response.
Detail the specific diseases and impact on life quality to engage more deeply with the topic.
task achievement
Further elaborate your examples and make them closely tied to your main points.
For instance, the Brazil example is good but could be extended with more specific stats or consequences to solidify the argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well.
Both paragraphs do a good job of summarizing the problem and suggested solutions.
task achievement
Usage of relevant examples like the case of Brazil to support points.
This adds credibility and concreteness to the argument.
task achievement
General ideas are well-expressed and cover multiple aspects of the topic.
Covers diet, exercise, and education, effectively tackling the multifaceted issue of obesity.