Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?

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Nowadays, shopping has been
in
Change preposition
apply

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the
Correct article usage
a

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trend among individuals as
a
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an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word entertainment.

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entertainment pastime.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, few
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

categories
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categorise

The word categories doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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it as a positive trend, others believe purchasing
things
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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associated downsides.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will elucidate the reasons for
ongoing
Correct article usage
the ongoing

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demand for shopping and its repercussions on the citizens. Buying
things
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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drastically changed over
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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time
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements

It seems that improvement may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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technology.
People
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can purchase items through the websites
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker while. Consider removing the comma.

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while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

staying in their homes.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they have numerous options to compare
products
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

online. These
practice
Change the determiner
practices

It appears that the plural demonstrative These is modifying the singular noun practice. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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have forced vendors to improve the quality and pricing
for
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of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their end
products
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are more satisfied
in
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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shopping, than ever before.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

surge in purchasing
things
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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mostly positive effects on
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with minimal downsides.
With
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In

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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markeplace
Correct your spelling
marketplace

If you don’t want markeplace to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, they purchase
things
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

based on their criteria.
Additionally
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a lot of time is saved as they can order
products
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

online through
ecommerce
Correct your spelling
e-commerce

If you don’t want ecommerce to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Flipkart and Instacart are among the top sites which
delivers
Change the verb form
deliver

The singular verb delivers does not appear to agree with the plural subject the top sites. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

directly to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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homes.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it widens the
employement
Correct your spelling
employment

If you don’t want employement to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

sector as
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations

It seems that organization may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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require ground staff,
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it
boost
Change the verb form
boosts

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb boost are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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the
overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

economy. Shopping has been considered a leisure activity by a significant proportion of society. Undoubtedly,
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
the plethora

The noun phrase plethora seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of paths are generated due
Change preposition
to it's
show examples
Change preposition
to it's

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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it's
Replace the word
its
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acceptance around the globe.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is good for both individuals and the society.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, to improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea or set of closely related ideas. This will make the essay flow more logically.
task achievement
To better achieve the task requirements, ensure that each point you make directly answers the question. Your essay does touch on why shopping is popular and the effects on individuals and society, but these points could be more deeply explored and supported with specific examples and evidence.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your claims. For instance, when discussing the negative effects of increased shopping, you could mention specific studies or societal issues such as environmental impact.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your points well.
task achievement
You successfully identified some of the reasons why shopping is popular, such as technological improvements and the convenience of online shopping.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activity
  • consumer culture
  • emotional satisfaction
  • consumerism
  • advertising influence
  • online shopping platforms
  • sense of pleasure
  • social interaction
  • boost the economy
  • compulsive shopping
  • materialism
  • environmental degradation
  • unsustainable demand
  • social inequalities
  • status through possessions
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