The chart below gives information about how families in one country spend their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spend their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
The given bar chart provides the information of an average weekly various aspects of expenditures spent by families in one country in 1968 and 2018, indicated as
a percentages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a percentage
percentages
show examples
.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that the majority of their incomes
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
largely spent on
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
that pleasure us
such
as food and leisure,
whereas
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
energy was funded the least.
However
, it is interesting to note the trends of prioritized funding
was
Verb problem
have
show examples
shifted
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
people
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
to prefer
leisures
Fix the agreement mistake
leisure
show examples
over their meals
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
five decades later. Starting in 1968, at 35% Food was the highest
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
among other categories, followed by housing and clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, at 10% which was spent
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the same rate.
While
Fuel and power
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
the given the fewest amount of slightly over 5%, others remaining groups
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
around 7-8%.
In fifty
Change preposition
Fifty
show examples
yeears
Correct your spelling
years
later, the expenses on free time activities outnumbered its previous top priority at 22% followed by that of housing at 19%,
while
that of Food dropped
least
Replace the word
less
show examples
than half of its past figures, at 16%.
Additionally
, personal goods
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
accompained
Correct your spelling
accompanied
with that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fuel and power for the smallest proportion of expenses at about 4%.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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