These days people are living in their 90s and beyond. As a result, there is increasing concern about care of the elderly. Do you think it is the responsiblity of the family to take care of their elderly member or should the government be held responsible?

Nowadays, an increasing number of people are living in their 90s.
Thus
, many
families
are concerned about them and how they'll be taken
care
of. In my opinion, I firmly believe that both
families
and the government are responsible for their well-being and
support
.
Firstly
, the role of relatives is crucial because it provides emotional and physical
support
to the elderly members. In fact,
this
involves the importance of family bonds, the knowledge of the elderly's needs, and maintaining a sense of belonging for the elderly.
In addition
, senior citizens achieved so much in the past and that leads to advantages for future generations.
Thus
, we should be grateful for what they did and it is our responsibility to take
care
of them and not see them as a financial burden.
However
, in some cases, it is best to transfer them to nursing homes or healthcare infrastructures, where they can be treated in the best way.
For instance
, sometimes we can't provide them the medical
care
they need.
In particular
, bedridden patients require a caregiver and being one of them
,
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has a massive impact on life and career.
Therefore
, in those cases, governments should share responsibilities with
families
by providing the right
care
and financial
support
in order to relieve the burden on the relatives.
Moreover
, the authorities should invest large sums of money, in order to provide the best
care
for everyone.
To conclude
, I strongly believe that elder generations should be taken
care
of by both
families
and governments because they need physical and emotional
support
but
also
medical
care
.
Submitted by chi63hi on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are evenly developed and adequately supported with examples.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance readability and make the essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Include a clearer and more defined transition between paragraphs to improve the logical flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the essay well.
complete response
You directly address the task by discussing both the role of families and the government in elderly care.
clear comprehensive ideas
You provide a balanced view on the responsibility of caring for elderly people, mentioning the importance of emotional, physical, and medical support from both families and the government.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • senior citizens
  • pension schemes
  • geriatric care
  • long-term care
  • nursing homes
  • home healthcare services
  • family dynamics
  • emotional support
  • financial burden
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • social services
  • government intervention
  • caregivers
  • elderly welfare
  • retirement plans
  • public healthcare system
  • tax-funded programs
  • inter-generational bonds
  • dependency ratio
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