It is thought by some that is better to live in a city while others believe it is better to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People have different views about lifestyle in the
countryside
would be extremely better.
While
in some ways it may be considered beneficial to host the town. I personally introduce the idea that individuals should live in
to
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apply
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the
city
for well-deserved packages and a professionally-established infrastructure. There are various reasons why it might seem crucial
to
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for
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people to be settled in the town. One basic idea to support these
principals
Correct your spelling
principles
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is that employee remuneration is
highly-capped
Correct your spelling
highly capped
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,
furthermore
, the
city
members will be paid well.
For instance
. If the citizens are occupied by various numbers of technology companies where it has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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provided better wages to attract talented engineers from their field to work for them, they will be intimately motivated to seek the
city
atmosphere. In theory, to have a job opportunity in
metropolis
Correct article usage
a metropolis
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with maximally-raised earnings, I would encourage you to reside
it
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in it
show examples
.
However
, I agree with those who argue about how vital and nutritious is to stay in the
countryside
. Nothing relaxes you rather than having a
wilderness'
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wilderness
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house.
For example
, if you are a nature lover,
adoring
Correct word choice
and adoring
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to view a green landscape, I will recommend you
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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own your residence in the
countryside
. In spite of breathing pure air, you need to
put
Verb problem
keep
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in mind that the one drawback
for
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of
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this
impact is the
pay-gap
Correct your spelling
pay gap
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between salaries in surroundings and towns. To avoid traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
in various crowded parts with detrimental extra gas fumes, it might be a feasible solution to back to your origins with ignorance
the
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of the
show examples
difference in facilities between both competitor areas. To stand with a solid conclusion, it is acknowledgeable the merits of the quietness in the
countryside
, but it is economically wise to accommodate the
city
.
Submitted by Mido  on

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task achievement
While your introduction touches on the two main views and states your own opinion, it could be clearer and more concise, giving a better overview of the essay structure.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clearly expressed and avoid overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader. For instance, phrases like 'highly-capped remuneration' could be simplified.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should flow more logically. Organize your ideas so each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using transition words and phrases can help improve this aspect.
task achievement
Include more detailed examples. Specifics help illustrate and strengthen your points. For example, elaborate on how city infrastructure improves quality of life or provide statistics if possible.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to address both views, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion does well in recapitalizing the argument, although it could be a bit more decisive.
supported main points
You provide coherent arguments for both city and countryside living, touching on job opportunities and quality of life.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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