It is thought by some that is better to live in a city while others believe it is better to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about lifestyle in the
countryside
would be extremely better. While
in some ways it may be considered beneficial to host the town. I personally introduce the idea that individuals should live in to
the Change preposition
apply
city
for well-deserved packages and a professionally-established infrastructure.
There are various reasons why it might seem crucial to
people to be settled in the town. One basic idea to support these Change preposition
for
principals
is that employee remuneration is Correct your spelling
principles
highly-capped
, Correct your spelling
highly capped
furthermore
, the city
members will be paid well. For instance
. If the citizens are occupied by various numbers of technology companies where it has been
provided better wages to attract talented engineers from their field to work for them, they will be intimately motivated to seek the Unnecessary verb
apply
city
atmosphere. In theory, to have a job opportunity in metropolis
with maximally-raised earnings, I would encourage you to reside Correct article usage
a metropolis
it
.
Change preposition
in it
However
, I agree with those who argue about how vital and nutritious is to stay in the countryside
. Nothing relaxes you rather than having a wilderness'
house. Change noun form
wilderness
For example
, if you are a nature lover, adoring
to view a green landscape, I will recommend you Correct word choice
and adoring
to
own your residence in the Fix the infinitive
apply
countryside
. In spite of breathing pure air, you need to put
in mind that the one drawback Verb problem
keep
for
Change preposition
of
this
impact is the pay-gap
between salaries in surroundings and towns. To avoid traffic Correct your spelling
pay gap
jam
in various crowded parts with detrimental extra gas fumes, it might be a feasible solution to back to your origins with ignorance Fix the agreement mistake
jams
the
difference in facilities between both competitor areas.
To stand with a solid conclusion, it is acknowledgeable the merits of the quietness in the Change preposition
of the
countryside
, but it is economically wise to accommodate the city
.Submitted by Mido on
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task achievement
While your introduction touches on the two main views and states your own opinion, it could be clearer and more concise, giving a better overview of the essay structure.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clearly expressed and avoid overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader. For instance, phrases like 'highly-capped remuneration' could be simplified.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should flow more logically. Organize your ideas so each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using transition words and phrases can help improve this aspect.
task achievement
Include more detailed examples. Specifics help illustrate and strengthen your points. For example, elaborate on how city infrastructure improves quality of life or provide statistics if possible.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to address both views, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion does well in recapitalizing the argument, although it could be a bit more decisive.
supported main points
You provide coherent arguments for both city and countryside living, touching on job opportunities and quality of life.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite