IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people consider that nowadays decreasing in the number of plant and animal species is the main environmental
problem
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.
However
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, others say that there are more important environmental problems. Both of these views have their own valid reasons and
this
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 essay will discuss them before presenting my own opinion. There are many causes for decreasing the number of particular species of plants and animals.
Thus
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, deforestation, human activities, and climate change influence
this
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 issue.
As a result
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, the loss of biodiversity affects the ecosystem.
This
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 serious
problem
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 needs more attention for our future life. National Geographic channels reports that if
this
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problem
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 is not addressed the plant and animal world will be under serious threat in the next 10 years.
On the other hand
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, others argue that pollution is a more important environmental
problem
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 rather than the decline of flora and fauna of nature. The increasing world population, producing exhaust fumes from factories, not-application of alternative energy forms and recycling processes, and throwing much household waste led to a more serious pollution issue. Greenpeace one of the global organizations reports that the level of environmental pollution in the seas and forests has increased by a very large percentage in the
last
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 3 years. That must be a warning signal for everyone. In conclusion, from my point of view, all environmental problems should be approached in a complex manner. In
this
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 way, we can build a healthy and safe life for all of us, especially for later generations.
Additionally
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, the government must introduce laws to tackle all environmental problems.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples or evidence to support your arguments, especially for the points about pollution and biodiversity loss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that links back to the overall topic. You might consider summarizing the key points in each paragraph more explicitly.
Positive
You have effectively introduced the topic and stated your opinion clearly in the introduction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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