IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people think that the loss of plants and
animals
Use synonyms
 is a huge environmental setback. Others consider that
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem, air pollution, global
warning
Correct your spelling
warming
show examples
,
climate
Correct word choice
and climate
show examples
 change are very important
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. I will discuss both important
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approach
Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
show examples
. It is undeniable that plants and
animals
Use synonyms
 have always had a special place in the world.
Thus
Linking Words
, the plant provides us with oxygen, food and other needs. If there are no forests, there will be no oxygen, which means no life.
Also
Linking Words
, the importance of
animals
Use synonyms
 should be noted not only for humans but
also
Linking Words
 for the surroundings.
For example
Linking Words
, if there are no snakes, the number of rats will increase and they will damage crops as pests. or if there are no chickens, the number of small insects will increase dramatically.
This
Linking Words
 event can lead to
Correct article usage
the gradually
show examples
gradually
Change the word
gradual
show examples
 end of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the increase in air pollution affects the atmospheric layer.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 pollution damages the ozone layer, which is the main cause of skin diseases in people.
In addition
Linking Words
, climate change causes natural disasters, floods or famine.
For instance
Linking Words
, the city where I come from is very polluted and it negatively
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
peoples’
Change noun form
people’s
show examples
 health.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is important to look after our environment.
To sum up
Linking Words
, whether it is the loss of plants,
animals
Use synonyms
 or other problems, people and the Earth are negatively affected.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is necessary to work hard to solve both problems.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, we will face natural disasters on a regular basis.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that every main point is clearly explained and supported with detailed examples or evidence. For instance, when discussing the importance of biodiversity, adding statistics or case studies can strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Aim to organize your essay in a clearer structure. Clearly separate your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Consider using topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
introduction and conclusion
You've effectively concluded your essay by summarizing both perspectives and offering your opinion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showcasing a comprehensive understanding of the task.
relevant examples
You provided examples to support your points, making your arguments more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: