The growing nuber of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health isssues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Nowadays, the increasing
number
of overweight Use synonyms
people
has been an issue that we cannot ignore. Use synonyms
This
trend causes several problems Linking Words
such
as putting a strain on the health care system. In response to Linking Words
this
situation, some Linking Words
people
state that we should introduce more physical education lessons at schools. Use synonyms
This
essay will take up Linking Words
this
statement and give the author's opinion.
First of all, Linking Words
according to
research on the correlation between the Linking Words
number
of overweight Use synonyms
people
in a specific area and the Use synonyms
number
of P.E. classes they had when they were students, we find that there is no correlation between those two elements, which means having more P.E. lessons in the school curriculum doesn't necessarily lead to the improvements of public health. Use synonyms
This
is because most Linking Words
people
quit exercising after they graduate from their school.
Use synonyms
Thus
, the most important thing is to change their ways of thinking about their eating habits. Just offering opportunities to exercise is not enough as a means of solving the health issue. In Linking Words
this
sense, I strongly disagree with the statement. Rather, we should provide our young generations with chances they consider their eating habits, Linking Words
such
as making their own menu for their dinner and teaching them how their diets influence their future body.
Linking Words
To sum up
, the growing Linking Words
number
of overweight Use synonyms
people
is one of the serious problems that our society has been facing. As I mentioned above, just increasing the Use synonyms
number
of physical education classes at schools will never make the situation better. We need more opportunities that change students' minds toward their diets.Use synonyms
Submitted by m.kiyosu1997 on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support the claims. Including studies or statistics could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, and consider using more linking words to enhance the cohesion.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position and maintains it throughout the response.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion.
Your opinion
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