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Band 7.5

Education should be free to all people and should be paid for and managed by the government. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#education #people #government
The government has invested millions into various projects
such
 as space research, and infrastructure development. Undoubtedly , it has resulted in various advances in science and the transportation sector.
According to
 most people, the authority should
also
 invest in providing quality teaching to all; free of cost. In my perspective, providing free
education
 would be a great choice for the progress of the country.
Firstly
,
education
 plays an important role in the
overall
 growth and development of an individual.
Moreover
, it has not only transformed an individual but
also
 the country as a whole.
However
, some of them do not get the opportunity to educate themselves and gain knowledge. To be specific, one of the major reasons is the lack of funds.
For example
, a middle-class family struggles to cover their basic needs
such
 as food, shelter and clothes.
Therefore
, they have to sacrifice their
education
 sometimes.
On the other hand
, I completely agree that funding teaching would be one of the most difficult tasks for the law. It might be a great idea to raise funds for learning, by driving a public campaign.
Additionally
, funds can
also
 be diverted from other sectors to schooling. Scholarships could be provided to students to get their attention into learning.
Due to
 scholarships, even middle-class people can go to schools and colleges, leading to equality among all. In
this
 cutting-edge era,
education
 is not only a want but a necessity. The government should take steps to make learning available for free. These efforts would bring benefits to the country.
Submitted by nihalshetty384 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider structuring your essay with clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
For a higher score in task response, ensure that all points in your essay are fully developed with specific and detailed examples. This makes your argument more compelling and comprehensive.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammatical consistency and try to reduce minor inaccuracies. While they don't majorly affect your score, a more polished essay can help elevate your overall band.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt comprehensively, discussing both the benefits and challenges of free education funded by the government.
task achievement
Your essay showcases a clear understanding of the topic and provides a logical argument in favor of free education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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