It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The argument between whether
children
should be diciplined
about what's right and what's wrong at Correct your spelling
disciplined
such
an early age and if punishment is necessary in the process is an important factor to
Change preposition
in
children
's habits and future. I personally agree that they should be educated with some extent of punishment.
The future of the next generation lies in the dedication of teaching from teachers and the parents themselves. Whether or not they can be successful in life depends on the habits they pick up during
a young age from their surroundings. Change preposition
at
Children
will subconciously
absorb whatever information they can and Correct your spelling
subconsciously
thats
what makes them who they will be. From my experience, Correct your spelling
that's
children
who are tought
with physical Correct your spelling
taught
aspect
can develop a traumatic response at a later age. Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
On the other hand
, those who get rewarded when finishing a task successfully will tend to thrive
for more but will be Verb problem
strive
dissapointed
if not given the expected reward. Correct your spelling
disappointed
In addition
, there is also
a fact that some parents will teach their children
reflecting how they were tought
by their parents whether good or bad.
Correct your spelling
taught
Although
punishment is necessary, I strongly disagree with physical harm as this
causes permanent emotional and psychological harm. So to compensate, we must first understand how they think and act on that.
To summarize, I think that we should implement a hybrid approach to children
's education in a way that we don't force them but instead
teach them with a
psychological thinking in mind. Remove the article
apply
This
not only not give them a hard time but it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
helps us and them understand eachother
for a more Correct your spelling
each other
condusive
experience. We can train them by not spoiling them to improve their personal critical thinking and independence.Correct your spelling
conducive
Submitted by riani.the2 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and provides a clear response, but examples are somewhat underdeveloped. Try to include more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Some parts of the essay lack clarity, particularly in terms of sentence structure and grammar. Making the sentences more concise and using varied sentence structures could enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Logical transitions can be improved to ensure smoother flow between ideas. Utilizing linking words effectively can help with this.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, but expanding the main points with more details and examples would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, setting a solid foundation for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a summary that aligns well with the introduction, reinforcing your argument and perspective.
task achievement
You make a good point about understanding children's perspectives and the dangers of physical punishment, which adds depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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