The responsibility of preventing and reducing global environmental damage lies in the hands of politicians and individuals have little impact. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is considered by many that government's restriction
harmfull
behaviour to Correct your spelling
harmful
environment
can only prevent by government. In my opinion, I agree that governments and big Add an article
the environment
companies
are key to prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
the
air, earth and water pollution. Correct article usage
apply
However
, we must consider people
's environmentalist activities.
Industry
has been developing and it brings Add an article
The industry
environment
damage with
Change preposition
to
theirself
. I think the efficient solution is Correct your spelling
their self
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
encouragament
to facilities for recycling. One big Correct your spelling
encouragement
companies
carbon Change noun form
company's
foot print
is much more than all Correct your spelling
footprint
people
in the USA. Nowadays, popular singers fly to
1000 miles distance to their private jet. Their money is not used for the Change preposition
apply
environment
, they use
the money for
invest their capital good and some luxury.
Change preposition
to
Also
, one of the soluiton
isCorrect your spelling
solution
solutions
Correct article usage
the
to
big Change preposition
on
companies
about
air and water Change preposition
on
filter
. Fix the agreement mistake
filters
However
, we know that is
the
protected by laws. But some Correct article usage
apply
legistigate
do not think Correct your spelling
legislators
Change preposition
of this
this laws
just one day. İt is Change the determiner
this law
these laws
the
gift from the environmentalist Correct article usage
a
people
. If they do not combat with
big Change preposition
apply
companies
for environment
, some Add an article
the environment
burden
might not Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
have
considered by facilities Verb problem
be
this days
.
In Change the determiner
this day
these days
conclusioni
Correct your spelling
conclusion
people
's endeavor
might not Fix the agreement mistake
endeavors
enough
Add a missing verb
be enough
for
the save the planet. But, the Change preposition
apply
endeavors
should not be underestimated. All Change the spelling
endeavours
people
's behaviour, to use
paper pipe, use
recycling, some environmentalist activisim
is good for the all of Correct your spelling
activism
use
. However
, it is not enough for
the reduce the environmental damage. The key is Change preposition
apply
hold
Wrong verb form
held
at
by some bosses and politicians.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by bkardelenyilmazz on
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Grammar and Vocabulary
Try to improve the clarity and grammatical accuracy of your sentences. This will help convey your ideas more effectively. For example, phrases like 'harmfull behaviour to environment' should be corrected to 'harmful behavior towards the environment.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, single main idea and is structured logically. There are some places where the ideas seem a bit scattered, particularly in Paragraph 2 where the topic jumps from government's encouragement to celebrities' behavior.
Task Achievement
Make your examples more specific and detailed. For instance, you can elaborate on how governments can encourage recycling or what specific policies might be effective. This makes your argument stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving transitions between paragraphs and within them. Though you have a conclusion, make sure it ties all your points together smoothly for better coherence.
Task Achievement
You have identified and elaborated on both the roles of governments and individuals, covering multiple angles of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.