IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Demand for gas and oil is increasding and so finding new resources in remote and untouched areas is a neccessity. D the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

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The use of
oil
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 and gas in
the
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apply
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society
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 has increased,
hence
Linking Words
 it is necessary to locate new drilling points in remote and untouched places. In my opinion,
this
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 will benefit
the
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apply
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society
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 by ensuring sufficient
energy
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 supply and
outweighs
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outweigh
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 the drawbacks. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of discovering extra locations for
extraction
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the extraction
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 of crude
oil
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. There are many merits associated with locating extra areas of
oil
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 extraction in
the
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apply
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society
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.
Firstly
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,
one
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 major advantage is an increased
energy
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 supply. Fossil fuels are currently the main
energy
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 source with
a
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guaranteed global sustainability
hence
Linking Words
 locating more points for extraction will benefit the world population by providing efficient
energy
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 and power supply.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in some countries, petroleum is
one
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 of the key sources of national income
therefore
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 extra drills and international exportation will increase the country’s revenue.
For example
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, in Nigeria, crude
oil
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 is
one
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 of the country’s natural resources and discovering
this
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oil
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 in more places in Imo, Ebonyi and Enugu states in the year 2015 contributed immensely to generating more revenues
to
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for
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 the nation.
However
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,
one
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 main disadvantage of finding new places to collect
oil
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 is environmental pollution. Fossil fuel is passed through the process of fractional distillation in a refinery to generate
oil
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 and gas consumed by the people, but
this
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 process leads to the release of greenhouse gases which invariably
contributes
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contribute
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 to global warming.
For instance
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, research carried out has attributed a rise in global warming to the extensive use of fossil fuel and
this
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 environmental catastrophe is a problem in
the
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apply
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society
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. In conclusion, I reiterate that the pros
in
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of
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 locating exploratory venues for
oil
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 and gas from new isolated areas are more than the cons.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction provides a clear roadmap of the essay's structure. Mention briefly what the main points of the discussion will be.
task achievement
When discussing disadvantages, it is helpful to provide more specific examples or expand on the potential consequences.
coherence cohesion
A better balance of paragraph length can improve readability. Consider breaking up long paragraphs into smaller ones to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking phrases and words to show the relationship between ideas. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The writer provides specific examples (e.g., Nigeria) to support their points, which strengthens the argument.
task achievement
The main idea is clear and the essay discusses both advantages and disadvantages, fulfilling the prompt's requirements.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote areas
  • untouched regions
  • fossil fuel extraction
  • energy security
  • habitat destruction
  • indigenous communities
  • technological advancements
  • economic benefits
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable energy
  • resource dependency
  • global energy price fluctuations
  • investment in local communities
  • infrastructure development
  • short-term solutions
  • long-term impact
  • renewable energy alternatives
  • displacement and cultural erosion
  • pollution
  • job creation
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