One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvatages?
There is no denying the fact that
the
medical Correct article usage
apply
care
is developing every year. While
it is a commonly held belief that people
are living longer and, life
expectancy is growing. In my opinion, i
consider that it is a good thing to see our medical Change the capitalization
I
care
improving and saving the patients.
To begin
with, good health care
,longer
Correct word choice
and longer
life
. In other words
, since the
medical Correct article usage
apply
care
is improving that
is mean
Wrong verb form
means
the
health problems will decrease Correct article usage
apply
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
the
half of it. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, lack of diseases. For example
, one of the features of the
medical Correct article usage
apply
care
improvement that
it is possible to cure the illness Add a missing verb
is that
fester
and easily.
Another point to consider, more population. It is possible to say that Correct your spelling
faster
long
Correct article usage
a long
life
can lead to get
more children and expand the family and that can Verb problem
apply
also
help the
medical Correct article usage
apply
care
to develop such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
as
if the children were interested in Correct word choice
apply
medicin
or science all the causes can Correct your spelling
medicine
held
the medical career. Change the verb form
hold
Moreover
, creating a
new jobs, Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
for instance
, longer life
can cause unemployment and, to avoid it people
need to
jobs and some of them can be more creative and create a new job which can provide Change preposition
apply
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
the
financial Add the preposition
with the
stabillity
and, Correct your spelling
stability
also
if his project needs employees he can hire some people
and that can helps
with reduce unemployment. In conclusion, despite Change the verb form
help
people
having different views, I believe that there is no disadvantage of
Change preposition
to
the
medical Correct article usage
apply
care
improvement it can help the
nations and puts hope in the hearts of suffering families.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by alaa5942005 on
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coherence
Try to better structure your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a main idea that connects back to your thesis.
support
Work on developing your ideas more fully. Explain each point in further detail and use relevant examples to support your arguments.
clarity
Pay attention to grammatical structures and proofread your work to eliminate small mistakes. This will improve the clarity of your points.
task
The essay demonstrates a clear attempt to address the topic and provides several reasons supporting the advantages of improved medical care.
structure
There is a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion