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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.

#people #choices
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In the modernized and developing world, people have more and more opportunities to choose from every perspective. There are almost so many alternatives in every field that sometimes people find it difficult to choose. There are numerous reasons for
this
.
First,
selection density, there are plenty of options and if you have spent much time and effort to find the most effective
one
, it will make you more knowledgeable in other steps.
Then
 rising expectations,
one
 who has set a goal enters into forecasts and has to use the available resources properly to make the right decision. The third is the issue of quality, not all the options are available,
on the contrary
, see quality
one
.
In addition
, having an abundance of information about each, comparing them with each other, preferring only
one
. In my opinion, it will be a practical lesson to analyze and choose, even if it is sometimes risky.
For example
, the desire to go to a foreign country is a dream of many, and there are already countless opportunities for
this
. Going to learn a foreign language or participating in special exams for that country.
In other words
, having
this
 opportunity has beneficial aspects that can meet their preferences and needs. Seen as a piece of the puzzle,
this
 leads to better product and service purchases. No matter how much anxiety and dissatisfaction are experienced, it makes them more self-confident.
Therefore
, it is vital to learn from something, not always the result.
To conclude
, the more options there are, the more it is offered to the community during evaluation.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a distinct main idea. The third paragraph could be more cohesive if it focused more on one main point rather than multiple loosely connected points.
task achievement
Try to provide one or two more specific examples to support your points, such as personal experiences or well-known scenarios that illustrate the abundance of choices.
task achievement
Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure that each point is clearly distinct from the others. This will help in making your argument more compelling.
task achievement
The essay addresses the statement and provides relevant arguments and reasons on the given topic.
coherence cohesion
Good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, aiding in the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The language used is varied and generally accurate, which enhances the readability and overall quality of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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