In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However nowadays, this information can be found through internet, therefore is no need for museum. What do you extent agree/disagree?

#museums #information #culture #history #internet #museum

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Previously,

museums

Use synonyms

provided several things about culture and history.

However

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, these days, information about

museums

Use synonyms

should be easily found online,

as a result

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, some people believe that

museums

Use synonyms

are no longer needed. I Firmly disagree, because there are benefits to entering a

museum

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directly and could be a medium for a student's learning process. There are advantages that visitors could find by entering a

museum

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directly. Coming to a

museum

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, visitors could look at and hear original recordings of some previous culture and history at specific timelines.

As a result

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, visitors will have experiences to connect directly and have deep imaginations of certain moments.

Whereas

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, websites that provide historical content have limited sources and sometimes add untrue stories. So, it would be better for internet users to come physically in order to get

such

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activities as mentioned earlier. Not only that, the

museum

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is a great medium of study, especially for children.

This

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is down to children are love to explore new things. When pupils come to a

museum

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, which is their first experience, their curiosity will increase,

As a result

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, these pupils are encouraged to learn more and more, so they can understand histories and cultures deeply.

Conversely

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, students who are facilitated with online engines or websites tend to be ignorant of history because

this

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method is boring. If

such

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a circumstance happens continuously, it will lead to a drawback

such

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as a failure in the exam. In conclusion, I believe

museums

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are still needed, since

museums

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offer some benefits if people come directly and might be a good learning medium for children.

Submitted by Keterolac on Mon Mar 25 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve in task achievement, aim to expand on your arguments with more detailed examples and explanation. This helps in portraying a more complete and clear response to the prompt. While your main arguments are relevant, further detailing will enrich your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay shows good organization with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, for enhanced coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs. Use a variety of connecting words, and ensure the progression of ideas is seamless for the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

tangible
immersive
heritage
repositories
authenticity
artifacts
curated
dynamic
dialogue
critical thinking
diverse perspectives
exclusivity

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In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However nowadays, this information can be found through internet, therefore is no need for museum. What do you extent agree/disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

Some people feel that equality between the genders has already been achieved while others feel there is considerable progress to be made. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries govrnments are investing in new technology to deal with the public why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?