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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical apliances and amount of time spent doing in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarises the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical apliances and amount of time spent doing in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarises the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #apliances #amount #time #households #country #summarises #information #features #comparison
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While
Linking Words
 the first listed line graph enumerates information on alterations of electrical
apliances
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appliances
 ownership, the second line graph depicts information on the time that was devoted to doing household work in one country in the time period of 1920 and 2019. The unit of measurement
in
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is
show examples
 per sent. A glance at the first chart reveals that all
apliances
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appliances
 encountered a steady growth trend
whereas
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 the
quantity
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number
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 of hours to do housekeeping per week varied to nadir metrics throughout the entire period.
To begin
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 with, the drifts of utilizing
refrigirator
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refrigerator
 in conjunction with vacuum
cleaner
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cleaners
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 tremendously rocketed from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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scratch and 30% in 1920 to substantially 100% of both in 2019. As regards
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
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machine
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machines
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, the direction
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
Linking Words
 experienced a decent acceleration, commencing from
solid
Correct article usage
a solid
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 40 to slightly more than 70% in 2019.
In
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addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 the trend of washing
machine
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machines
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 coincided with the others in 1960, resulting in a sharp 70%. As far as the time
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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dedicated to household work was concerned, the values underwent a
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
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 downturn from a solid 50% at the very beginning of 1920 to a bit more than 10 in 2019. What's more, the drift faced a plateau comprised about 15% from 1980 to 2000.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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