Some people think that best way to reduce crime is to sentence long term prison.However,others think that there are alternative way to reduce crime describe both view points discuss your opinion.
As
people
can feel more satisfied living in a city with lower
rate of Add an article
a lower
the
Correct article usage
apply
crime
, they come up with different ways to reduce it. In my view, severe punishments
are possible to avoid
Verb problem
prevent
people
to challenge
the law.
Some Change preposition
from challenging
people
believe that sentencing long
Add a hyphen
long-term
term
prison
is the best method to decrease crime
, since people
may be afraid of staying in the
Correct article usage
apply
prison
for a long time and choose to behave well. If they are caught by policemen and need to stay in prison
for several decades, they may not stand being seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
with
their family for Change preposition
from
such
a long period, so they might stop their crime
when they tend to.
On the other hand
, opponents have other idea
that there are better Change the wording
another idea
other ideas
way
to reduce Fix the agreement mistake
ways
crime
, which means that long
Add a hyphen
long-term
term
prison
is not effective enough for crimals
to stop their bad actions. Even though Correct your spelling
criminals
people
know they may be in the
Correct article usage
apply
prinson
for decades, they are likely to still the Correct your spelling
prison
crime
because of the large profit they may gain. For example
, they might be too confident to plan to rob a lot of money and run away instantly, so they are not afraid of the long
Add a hyphen
long-term
term
prison
. These opponents may think good education may be a better way to reduce crime
. People
can learn some useful skills and know what is right
way to live in Add an article
the right
a right
the
society.
In my view, harsh Correct article usage
apply
punishments
can be effective to control
Change preposition
in controlling
crime
. It is important to make criminals be scared of the punishment, so that they may tend to change their mind
. When they think the benefits they may acquire are not worthy for them to take a risk, they may stop the dangerous action. Fix the agreement mistake
minds
For example
, the rate of Singapore's crime
is low due to
their
severe Change the word
the
punishments
in the law.
In conclusion, harsh punishments
like long
Add a hyphen
long-term
term
prison
might reduce crime
effectively. Criminals need to know what they need to pay for their behaviour.Submitted by asllchkied on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more relevant specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Relate instances to real-life situations or statistics to add depth to your viewpoints. Aim for more detailed and clear ideas around each point you make to ensure comprehensive responses.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on ensuring logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points smoothly. Consider improving paragraph transitions to lend more clarity to your argument sequence.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both viewpoints as required by the task. This shows a clear understanding of the prompt and meets the basic requirements for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a logically structured essay. The presence of both start and finish sections contributes to the overall flow and comprehension of your arguments.
task achievement
The essay includes some good points and relevant arguments for both sides, which helps to ensure a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, which ties together the discussion and leaves the reader with a final, comprehensive viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.