Some people think that best way to reduce crime is to sentence long term prison.However,others think that there are alternative way to reduce crime describe both view points discuss your opinion.

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As
people
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can feel more satisfied living in a city with
lower
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a lower
show examples
rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crime
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, they come up with different ways to reduce it. In my view, severe
punishments
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are possible to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
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people
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to challenge
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from challenging
show examples
the law. Some
people
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believe that sentencing
long
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long-term
show examples
term
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prison
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is the best method to decrease
crime
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, since
people
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may be afraid of staying in
the
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apply
show examples
prison
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for a long time and choose to behave well. If they are caught by policemen and need to stay in
prison
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for several decades, they may not stand being
seperated
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separated
with
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from
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their family for
such
Linking Words
a long period, so they might stop their
crime
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when they tend to.
On the other hand
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, opponents have
other idea
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another idea
other ideas
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that there are better
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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to reduce
crime
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, which means that
long
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long-term
show examples
term
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prison
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is not effective enough for
crimals
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criminals
to stop their bad actions. Even though
people
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know they may be in
the
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apply
show examples
prinson
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prison
for decades, they are likely to still the
crime
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because of the large profit they may gain.
For example
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, they might be too confident to plan to rob a lot of money and run away instantly, so they are not afraid of the
long
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long-term
show examples
term
Use synonyms
prison
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. These opponents may think good education may be a better way to reduce
crime
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.
People
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can learn some useful skills and know what is
right
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the right
a right
show examples
way to live in
the
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apply
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society. In my view, harsh
punishments
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can be effective
to control
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in controlling
show examples
crime
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. It is important to make criminals be scared of the punishment, so that they may tend to change their
mind
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minds
show examples
. When they think the benefits they may acquire are not worthy for them to take a risk, they may stop the dangerous action.
For example
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, the rate of Singapore's
crime
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is low
due to
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their
Change the word
the
show examples
severe
punishments
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in the law. In conclusion, harsh
punishments
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like
long
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
term
Use synonyms
prison
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might reduce
crime
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effectively. Criminals need to know what they need to pay for their behaviour.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more relevant specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Relate instances to real-life situations or statistics to add depth to your viewpoints. Aim for more detailed and clear ideas around each point you make to ensure comprehensive responses.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on ensuring logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points smoothly. Consider improving paragraph transitions to lend more clarity to your argument sequence.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both viewpoints as required by the task. This shows a clear understanding of the prompt and meets the basic requirements for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a logically structured essay. The presence of both start and finish sections contributes to the overall flow and comprehension of your arguments.
task achievement
The essay includes some good points and relevant arguments for both sides, which helps to ensure a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, which ties together the discussion and leaves the reader with a final, comprehensive viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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