IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table shows the worldwide market share of mobile phone manufacturers in the 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the worldwide market share of mobile phone manufacturers in the 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the
market
Use synonyms
 presence of three mobile phone operating systems in five countries in 2015
Overall
Linking Words
, android-based smartphones dominated the
market
Use synonyms
 of all nations. It is
also
Linking Words
 noticeable that iOS devices were more popular in more developed countries. In detail, the
market
Use synonyms
share
Use synonyms
 of
android
Capitalize word
Android
show examples
 in Brazil in 2015 was 91%, 20% higher than that in China and Germany.
Such
Linking Words
 a difference was twice as much when comparing the figure for Brazil with the UK and the USA, the latter standing at over a half. In stark contrast, windows-based devices
was
Change the verb form
were
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 the least popular, accounting for below 10% in each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
, reaching as low as 1% in China. iOS was the second most widely used operating system, taking up around 40%
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
market
Use synonyms
share
Use synonyms
 in the UK and the USA. Its
share
Use synonyms
 shrunk twofold in China to one-fourth
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and was even lower in Germany at nearly one-fifth. Being the least economically developed nation out of the five, Brazil had only a negligible 4% of its mobile phone platform
share
Use synonyms
 belonging to iOS.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words market, share with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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