Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.

Few individuals are of the opinion that doctors and engineers should practice their profession in the nation they
got
Verb problem
were
show examples
trained
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
,
while
their counterparts think that
such
professionals must
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
the freedom to
work
in any
country
. I vehemently oppose the view of learned professionals being restricted in the
country
they acquired their
work
experience from, as that would hinder the personal growth of an
indivual
Correct your spelling
individual
. When an individual
practises
Change the verb form
practise
show examples
their profession in the same region they got certified from, they tend to serve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society better.
This
is because, just as fishes know their waters, engineers and doctors who decide to
work
in the same
country
they graduated from, resolve
technical
Correct article usage
the technical
show examples
and medical problems of that nation more efficiently. One
such
instance of a notable engineer was Dr. Abdul Kalam Azad, a mind that countries like America would have cherished to have in return
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
any
valuable
Replace the word
value
show examples
.
However
, he chose to serve the Indian rocket science research,
thus
aiding India to soar
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
great heights in space.
Hence
, being an expatriate or even leaving a
country
after securing the required degree or experience is often frowned upon by many.
However
, a person makes thousands of decisions each day just to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their ambitions, and not travelling for
work
cuts down personal goals. Knowledge and water can never be trapped. A scholarly doctor or engineer must have all rights to explore the world and spread their acumen. When knowledge travels, it prospers, and
moreover
all these individuals who sweat to achieve
such
reknowned
Correct your spelling
renowned
degrees, do so only to make their dreams come true. Money might be a reason for
such
determined efforts, but it can be argued that many chase the lifestyle and growth that comes with travelling across continents. Satya Nadela, Sundar Pichai, Parag Aggarwal, and the list goes on forever. There are countless
such
minds who left their homeland to become what they once aspired as a kid.
Hence
,
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
show examples
growth and mental peace of a person
wins
Correct subject-verb agreement
win
show examples
any argument put forward to deny
emmigration
Correct your spelling
immigration
emigration
and
movement
Correct article usage
the movement
show examples
of experts. In conclusion, no matter how much a
country
thinks of the benefits it may get by trapping scholars,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I believe that
such
minds are better off on their own seeking wisdom and success beyond boundaries. It would be even great if
such
a flow of great minds is supported by government authorities and policies.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Although the essay is overall coherent, a few more transitional phrases could enhance the flow.
task achievement
Although your points are highly relevant and specific examples like mentioning Dr. Abdul Kalam and other notable figures are effective, make sure to further elaborate on how these examples directly impact your argument.
task achievement
Your essay offers a balanced discussion, acknowledging both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
You've included specific, relevant examples which add credibility and depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logically arranged, making it easy to follow your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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