In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household takes equally (eg. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that nowadays
both
parents are working full time to provide basic needs to their children namely
foods
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food
show examples
, medical care, housing and education.
Therefore
, in
term
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terms
show examples
of
household
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households
show examples
, some might argue that
this
task should
be equally divide
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be equally divided
show examples
by
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between
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two parties or just
maintaining
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maintain
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on
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apply
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the
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apply
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traditional beliefs.
In
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From
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my
perpective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, I totally agree with the statement above which I will explain in the next paragraph.
To begin
with, in
this
new era, more and more
women
are fighting for their own voices and rights to stand and work in the same role
in
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as
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male standards.
Not to mention
, since the men and
women
are
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apply
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both
contribute financially
then
it is significant for them to share
household
chores to ensure a fair share of responsibilities
such
as cooking, cleaning, and child-minding that
only
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have only
show examples
be
Wrong verb form
been
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seen by female roles for the past decade.
Thus
, sharing
household
tasks fairly promotes a healthy relationship and fosters mutual respect and understanding between husband and wife.
As a result
,
a
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apply
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quality time can be spent
together with
their family and improve
overall
life
satisfractions
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satisfaction
satisfactions
.
On the other hand
, some Asian countries still
keeping
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keep
show examples
their cultural gender roles which is
the
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that
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male
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males
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are
most
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more
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dominant than
female
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females
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whereas
both
partners
are working
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work
show examples
but when it comes to housework only
women
are doing
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do
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most of
its
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it
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and somehow the husband only
concern
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concerned
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about outside affairs. On top of that,
this
can be tiresome for a lady to handle
such
alone. On that account, open communication is
a
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apply
show examples
vital for
the
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apply
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couples to keep a
harmony
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harmonious
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and efficient
household
. In conclusion, consider the
postive
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positive
outcomes which
are including
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include
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keeping a more harmonious and happy family when
both
men and
women
are
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apply
show examples
evenly divided
their
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between their
show examples
household
tasks and work
as
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apply
show examples
full time.
Submitted by tifjong on

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coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. There are a few inaccuracies and awkward phrasing that can be polished.
task achievement
You addressed the topic and provided a clear stance from the beginning, which is essential for a complete response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, framing your essay well.
task achievement
You brought up relevant points about financial contribution and cultural differences which are significant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual incomes
  • distribution of household chores
  • evolving societal norms
  • gender roles
  • mutual respect
  • quality time
  • life satisfaction
  • cultural contexts
  • traditional beliefs
  • inefficiencies
  • discontent
  • open communication
  • negotiate chores
  • pragmatic approach
  • harmonious
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