Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development

In the contemporary era, many

countries

have shown that their societies and landscapes have become similar

due to

people

opting for the same

products

in their lives. From my perspective,

this

phenomenon leads to adverse impacts and affects the development of

countries

. There are several reasons why

this

trend brings about many disadvantages.

Firstly

due to

globalization,

people

have ready access to a wide range of

products

from different nations, which makes individuals more likely to choose well-known

products

in the global market.

For example

, with the widespread availability of fast food chains like McDonald's and Starbucks, many

people

opt for these as meals

instead

of consuming local cuisine.

This

not only puts traditional food at risk of disappearing but

also

results in the loss of unique cultural heritage over time.

Moreover

, many

people

tend to buy popular

products

not because they genuinely want them, but because they pursue social proof and jump on the bandwagon.

This

contributes to everyone buying the same items.

For instance

, with the prevalence of K-pop, many

people

wish to buy items like clothes, hats, and bags that resemble those of their idols, regardless of their location.

This

not only diminishes the creativity and ingenuity of society but

also

hinders reflection on their history, values, and identity.

However

, it is undeniable that

this

trend still has certain upsides. It offers the opportunity for

people

to appreciate various cultures, fostering global cohesion.

This

, in turn, fuels the phenomenon, leading

people

to gravitate towards popular

products

and erasing differences between

countries

. In conclusion,

while

the global availability of

products

can offer some advantages, it

also

brings about numerous detrimental effects to

countries

: the degradation of traditional food, the erosion of cultural identity, and the disappearance of a country's values. All of these factors demonstrate that

this

trend is a negative development.

Submitted by zora840810 on Fri Jul 12 2024

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coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well-supported. To further enhance coherence, consider using more varied transitional phrases between ideas and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more smoothly.

task achievement

While the essay addresses the task and provides relevant examples, try to elaborate a bit more on each main point. Providing more detailed examples and expounding on your arguments can create a more compelling case.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents your stance effectively, setting the stage for the subsequent arguments.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as fast food chains and K-pop, helps to illustrate and support your points effectively. This demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

globalization
diversity
homogenization
cultural assimilation
global connection
local businesses
economic impact
consumerism
standardization
westernization

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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

The government should impose a fee on drivers who use their vehicle during rush hour to help cut down on air pollution from exhaust fumes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disasters like earthquakes and floods. Governments should concentrate their resource on educating people about the risk they face nearer to their home, which can cost far more lives . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

The only way to improve safety in our roads is to give stricter punishment for driving offenses. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

An overseas friend has invited you to visit his country. You are planning to visit him. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter  Thank him for the invitation and accept the invitation  Write details about your visit  Briefly describe what you want to do there.