Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In the contemporary era, many
countries
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have shown that their societies and landscapes have become similar
due to
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people
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opting for the same
products
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in their lives. From my perspective,
this
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phenomenon leads to adverse impacts and affects the development of
countries
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. There are several reasons why
this
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trend brings about many disadvantages.
Firstly
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,
due to
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globalization,
people
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have ready access to a wide range of
products
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from different nations, which makes individuals more likely to choose well-known
products
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in the global market.
For example
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, with the widespread availability of fast food chains like McDonald's and Starbucks, many
people
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opt for these as meals
instead
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of consuming local cuisine.
This
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not only puts traditional food at risk of disappearing but
also
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results in the loss of unique cultural heritage over time.
Moreover
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, many
people
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tend to buy popular
products
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not because they genuinely want them, but because they pursue social proof and jump on the bandwagon.
This
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contributes to everyone buying the same items.
For instance
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, with the prevalence of K-pop, many
people
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wish to buy items like clothes, hats, and bags that resemble those of their idols, regardless of their location.
This
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not only diminishes the creativity and ingenuity of society but
also
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hinders reflection on their history, values, and identity.
However
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, it is undeniable that
this
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trend still has certain upsides. It offers the opportunity for
people
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to appreciate various cultures, fostering global cohesion.
This
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, in turn, fuels the phenomenon, leading
people
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to gravitate towards popular
products
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and erasing differences between
countries
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. In conclusion,
while
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the global availability of
products
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can offer some advantages, it
also
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brings about numerous detrimental effects to
countries
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: the degradation of traditional food, the erosion of cultural identity, and the disappearance of a country's values. All of these factors demonstrate that
this
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trend is a negative development.
Submitted by zora840810 on

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well-supported. To further enhance coherence, consider using more varied transitional phrases between ideas and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task and provides relevant examples, try to elaborate a bit more on each main point. Providing more detailed examples and expounding on your arguments can create a more compelling case.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents your stance effectively, setting the stage for the subsequent arguments.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as fast food chains and K-pop, helps to illustrate and support your points effectively. This demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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