Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development

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In the contemporary era, many

countries

Use synonyms

have shown that their societies and landscapes have become similar

due to

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people

Use synonyms

opting for the same

products

Use synonyms

in their lives. From my perspective,

this

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phenomenon leads to adverse impacts and affects the development of

countries

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. There are several reasons why

this

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trend brings about many disadvantages.

Firstly

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due to

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globalization,

people

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have ready access to a wide range of

products

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from different nations, which makes individuals more likely to choose well-known

products

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in the global market.

For example

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, with the widespread availability of fast food chains like McDonald's and Starbucks, many

people

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opt for these as meals

instead

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of consuming local cuisine.

This

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not only puts traditional food at risk of disappearing but

also

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results in the loss of unique cultural heritage over time.

Moreover

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, many

people

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tend to buy popular

products

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not because they genuinely want them, but because they pursue social proof and jump on the bandwagon.

This

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contributes to everyone buying the same items.

For instance

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, with the prevalence of K-pop, many

people

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wish to buy items like clothes, hats, and bags that resemble those of their idols, regardless of their location.

This

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not only diminishes the creativity and ingenuity of society but

also

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hinders reflection on their history, values, and identity.

However

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, it is undeniable that

this

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trend still has certain upsides. It offers the opportunity for

people

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to appreciate various cultures, fostering global cohesion.

This

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, in turn, fuels the phenomenon, leading

people

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to gravitate towards popular

products

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and erasing differences between

countries

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. In conclusion,

while

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the global availability of

products

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can offer some advantages, it

also

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brings about numerous detrimental effects to

countries

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: the degradation of traditional food, the erosion of cultural identity, and the disappearance of a country's values. All of these factors demonstrate that

this

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trend is a negative development.

Submitted by zora840810 on Fri Jul 12 2024

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coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well-supported. To further enhance coherence, consider using more varied transitional phrases between ideas and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more smoothly.

task achievement

While the essay addresses the task and provides relevant examples, try to elaborate a bit more on each main point. Providing more detailed examples and expounding on your arguments can create a more compelling case.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents your stance effectively, setting the stage for the subsequent arguments.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as fast food chains and K-pop, helps to illustrate and support your points effectively. This demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

globalization
diversity
homogenization
cultural assimilation
global connection
local businesses
economic impact
consumerism
standardization
westernization

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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The internet has changed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems the did not exist before. What are the problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well.. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?