In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

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Home

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A home

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is an essential place where one lives with family, friends or partners to bring love, support and security.

However

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, some nations think it is more necessary to buy a

home

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rather than pay rent to the owner.

This

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is because

people

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will have the privilege to sell and earn more in the future and have the freedom to do what they want in their own space.

Therefore

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this

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will bring positive circumstances to the

people

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. It is important to own a

home

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when

people

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have the advantage to put

Correct pronoun usage

it up

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for sale and gain more profits.

Similarly

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, after they owned the

house

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for a decade or more, they are able to put a higher price for sale to earn extra value.

For instance

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, my sister bought a townhouse for 250,000 dollars back in 2014. Recently, she had sold her

house

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for 700,000 dollars and gained 450,000 dollars in profits.

Furthermore

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people

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will have the opportunity to live their own life in their private

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home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

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when they are the

house

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owner. Being the boss of the

house

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people

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will not be afraid to decide what they want their

house

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to look like. My neighbour who is obsessed with antique styles and creativity,

she

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apply

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refurbished and renovated her

house

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to look like

1950s

Correct article usage

the 1950s

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era.

As a result

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, being the owner of the

house

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allows one to live with happiness and peace of mind. In conclusion, I believe owning a

house

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provides positivity because it will bring fortune in the future and encourage

people

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to live with freedom, giving themselves the best life.

Submitted by yw_lh on Fri Sep 13 2024

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Advice on Task Achievement

While the essay addresses the key components of the question, offering reasons why owning a home is important and concluding with a clear position, it could benefit from a deeper exploration of counterarguments or additional points. Including some discussion on potential downsides or challenges of homeownership would provide a more comprehensive response.

Advice on Coherence and Cohesion

To improve logical structure and cohesion, consider using more diverse transitional phrases and connecting words to link ideas within and between paragraphs more fluidly. This will help in guiding the reader through your arguments more effectively.

Highlight on Task Achievement

The essay includes relevant and specific examples, such as the anecdote about the sister and the neighbor, which effectively illustrate the points being made.

Highlight on Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a comprehensive overview and closing, helping to frame the essay well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Your opinion

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Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?