IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Which do you prefer: a high-paying job with long hours or a lower-paying job with shorter hours? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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Money
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 and
time
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 are the two sides of the same coin called
life
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. Some people desire a
life
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 filled with financial freedom even if it means having to spend more
time
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 working,
whereas
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 others believe in the freedom of
time
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 wherein they get by with the essentials but have the luxury to live their
life
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 as they wish. I would count myself as belonging to the latter group.
Firstly
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, I believe it is important to note that
money
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 is needed for everything. Every aspect of
life
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 requires
money
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,
such
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 as food, water, electricity, etc.
Therefore
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, having
money
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 means these bills will be taken care of.
For example
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, on a monthly basis, my essentials cost just over £1000 -
this
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 includes rent, bills, car payments, phone contracts, etc. Having a well-paid job can give you peace of mind, knowing all these payments are taken care of and
thus
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 you can continue living your
life
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 without the worry of making a payment. But is
this
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 really living? As I mentioned previously, I belong to the second category. I enjoy living
life
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 with the freedom of
time
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. I believe that
life
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 is meant to be lived whilst you still can.
For instance
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, I can spend my youth making quality memories with friends and family, travelling and seeing the world before my body gives up. Shorter hours
also
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 mean less work. As someone prone to burnout
due to
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 my intense childhood, I can appreciate the ease
this
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 offers to those with mental health problems. Somehow, making enough
money
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 to get by, whilst simultaneously making beautiful memories, sounds more like
life
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.
To conclude
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, I believe everyone has their own priorities when it comes to living
life
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, and my priority is to spend my energy on myself, not at some corporation which will age me beyond my years leaving me empty inside.

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task achievement
You have presented a clear position throughout your essay, which is excellent. However, it would be beneficial to include a counterargument to strengthen your point even further. Addressing the other side of the argument and then refuting it can make your task response even more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within the paragraph are relevant to that topic. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both well-crafted and contribute positively to the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
You have provided several relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points, which enhances the task response.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and easy to follow, which makes for a compelling read.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • career growth
  • financial stability
  • mental health
  • stress levels
  • burnout
  • job satisfaction
  • standard of living
  • social relationships
  • retirement planning
  • personal development
  • time management
  • opportunity cost
  • trade-offs
  • quality of life
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