Many feel that going to the gyms is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give your own opinion,

It is true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
being fit is crucial to the population. Many people feel that staying fit is the best method for going to
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
while
others say that there are more productive measures.
This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. On the one hand,
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
way to
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
fit because individuals can reduce their weight
coupled with
Verb problem
while
show examples
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
according to
their age.
This
means lazy
persons
Replace the word
people
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. but he
wants
Add the particle
wants to
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lose
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
weight,
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
is the best place to spend money and get
membership
Add an article
a membership
show examples
.
For instance
, constant physical exercise is possible where
gym
only
besides
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the population
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
lazy
to
Rephrase
enough to
show examples
do that.
Hence
, going to
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
is the best method for being healthy.
Conversely
, there are some other ways to
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
fit
such
as eating healthy
foods
and ignoring fast
foods
.
This
means people prefer to consume only, healthy meals. in order to they will get a fit body
otherwise
they will suffer obesity issue.
For instance
, Indians
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not go to any
gym
because they only eat healthy meals at home so they are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more fit. Henceforth, eating healthy. foodstuff
as well as
avoiding fast
foods
are
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
to be considered staying fit rather than going to
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
, going to
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
brings more interest to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
weights
Fix the agreement mistake
weight
show examples
and it stimulates to do
activity
Add an article
the activity
an activity
show examples
without taking any breaks, eating healthy meals and avoiding
junkfoods
Correct your spelling
junk food
that stimulates to staying fit.
However
, in my opinion, eating healthy
foods
along with
ignoring
fase
Correct your spelling
fast
foods
bring staying fit.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed and maintains consistent terminology throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by using a wider range of cohesive devices and making sure each paragraph follows logically from the previous one.
relevant specific examples
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will help illustrate your arguments more clearly.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expanding your vocabulary and sentence structures to make your ideas clearer and more sophisticated.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view.
task achievement
You present your own opinion clearly in the conclusion, which completes the task effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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