Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, part of
people
tend to think that spending
time
cooking and eating dishes at
home
with family is more satisfying than visiting a cafe or local cuisine restaurant to spend
money
here. I totally agree
that is
a significant option for
people
because they may save
money
and increase their knowledge of how to cook any dishes by themselves. The main reason I support eating from
home
is because
people
can read some receipts from the internet and try to repeat it when is
time
to cook.
In particular
, at
this
moment a lot of information is supported by video tutorials and
that is
helpful for someone preparing a dish from all over the world.
For example
, when a young man or woman tries to finish cooking and reduce
time
they are able to watch videos and follow instructions to prepare exactly the same dish.
In addition
, many restaurants conquer markets by providing unhealthy food.
Furthermore
, eating from
home
definitely saves
money
, which
people
can spend when they visit enormously cafes.
This
stems from nowadays owners of cafes rapidly increasing the price of meals.
For example
, society can buy plenty of fresh and chip fruits and vegetables at local markets and spend exactly the same
time
at
home
making a dish rather than wasting
time
standing in line at a restaurant. In conclusion, I completely believe that the
time
that a person spends at
home
cooking dinner outweighs visiting some restaurants and helping
people
save
money
and rapid growth in knowledge about how to cook and lead a high level of
this
.
Submitted by vladislavikonnikov112 on

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task achievement
Your essay introduces a clear position and provides arguments supporting your view, which is good. However, try to improve clarity by ensuring grammatical accuracy and refining sentence structures. Some sentences are slightly imprecise or awkwardly worded.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, ensure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and follow it with relevant supporting details. Work on paragraph transitions to improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are generally clear, work on coherence by linking your supporting points more directly to your main arguments. For instance, explain more thoroughly how learning to cook at home increases knowledge and leads to healthier eating habits.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your viewpoint on the given topic, which helps frame your essay for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is strong and effectively summarizes the main points of your essay, reinforcing your stance.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the availability of video tutorials for cooking, effectively supports your points and adds depth to your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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