People all in modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologist’s claim that parents and other society members often set a bad example. Discuss the causes & some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern-day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.

#people #societies #drugs #youth #age #sociologist’s #parents #society #members #effects #drug #recommendations #fight #abuse

In today's world, the internet plays an important role in our daily lives. Some universities have online

courses

which they do not have to go to the university.

But

Correct word choice

However

show examples

some argue that it is important to learn

Change preposition

show examples

campus. In

this

essay, I will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

these two opinions and give my own opinion. The online programs are popular for most of

students

Add an article

the students

show examples

nowadays. There are lots of advantages for the learner.

Firstly

, it is convenient to

study

anywhere and anytime. If we have cellphones or laptops, we can

study

across the world about politics, economics, etc.

Secondly

, it can save money

from

Change preposition

show examples

transportation.

For example

, UCLA

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

opened some internet-based financial

courses

for

Change preposition

show examples

other international people can learn about finance, so that we don't have to go to America to

study

that.

On the other hand

, Some

courses

cannot

learn by

Verb problem

show examples

online

such

as Doctor of Medicine. There is a key for medical students to learn to treat patients by facing them. History taking and physical examinations should not

be learn

Change the verb form

be learned

show examples

by internet-based

study

In addition

, cooking is a skill that should learn by doing. It is hard to learn from

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

and become an expert cooker. In conclusion, it is important

Correct your spelling

show examples

should which subject we can learn online or on-site. Online studies are easy and convenient for some

courses

. But some

such

as Doctor of Medicine, should not learn

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online.

Submitted by pat.friend22 on Fri Jul 12 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to stay on the main topic throughout the essay. For instance, in discussing the role of the internet in education, focus on comparing online and on-campus education comprehensively without straying into unrelated examples.

coherence cohesion

Organize the essay in a logical structure. Start with a clear introduction, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single main point, and conclude with a concise summary.

task achievement

Ensure to provide clear and comprehensive ideas in the body paragraphs. For example, when discussing the benefits of online learning, give detailed experiences or studies to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Provide more linking words and phrases to coherently connect ideas across sentences and paragraphs. Appropriate use of words like 'furthermore', 'on the contrary', or 'consequently' can help maintain the flow of arguments.

task achievement

You presented relevant specific examples to support your points, especially in relation to online programs offering convenient and cost-saving opportunities.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and well-defined, giving a clear start and end to your essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

societal norms
glamorize
peer pressure
mimic
accessibility
curiosity
coping mechanism
fatal overdose
criminal record
cognitive function
diminished prospects
community programs
role modeling
regulations
enforce

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people,while othersbelieve that the purpose of museums is to educate.Discuss both views and give your openion.