People all in modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologist’s claim that parents and other society members often set a bad example. Discuss the causes & some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern-day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.

In today's world, the internet plays an important role in our daily lives. Some universities have online
courses
which they do not have to go to the university.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
some argue that it is important to learn
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
campus. In
this
essay, I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
these two opinions and give my own opinion. The online programs are popular for most of
students
Add an article
the students
show examples
nowadays. There are lots of advantages for the learner.
Firstly
, it is convenient to
study
anywhere and anytime. If we have cellphones or laptops, we can
study
across the world about politics, economics, etc.
Secondly
, it can save money
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
transportation.
For example
, UCLA
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
opened some internet-based financial
courses
for
Change preposition
so
show examples
other international people can learn about finance, so that we don't have to go to America to
study
that.
On the other hand
, Some
courses
cannot
learn by
Verb problem
be
show examples
online
such
as Doctor of Medicine. There is a key for medical students to learn to treat patients by facing them. History taking and physical examinations should not
be learn
Change the verb form
be learned
show examples
by internet-based
study
.
In addition
, cooking is a skill that should learn by doing. It is hard to learn from
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
and become an expert cooker. In conclusion, it is important
fo
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
should which subject we can learn online or on-site. Online studies are easy and convenient for some
courses
. But some
such
as Doctor of Medicine, should not learn
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online.
Submitted by pat.friend22 on

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task achievement
Make sure to stay on the main topic throughout the essay. For instance, in discussing the role of the internet in education, focus on comparing online and on-campus education comprehensively without straying into unrelated examples.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay in a logical structure. Start with a clear introduction, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single main point, and conclude with a concise summary.
task achievement
Ensure to provide clear and comprehensive ideas in the body paragraphs. For example, when discussing the benefits of online learning, give detailed experiences or studies to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Provide more linking words and phrases to coherently connect ideas across sentences and paragraphs. Appropriate use of words like 'furthermore', 'on the contrary', or 'consequently' can help maintain the flow of arguments.
task achievement
You presented relevant specific examples to support your points, especially in relation to online programs offering convenient and cost-saving opportunities.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and well-defined, giving a clear start and end to your essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • societal norms
  • glamorize
  • peer pressure
  • mimic
  • accessibility
  • curiosity
  • coping mechanism
  • fatal overdose
  • criminal record
  • cognitive function
  • diminished prospects
  • community programs
  • role modeling
  • regulations
  • enforce
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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