IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development? (Write 250 words.)

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In the contemporary world, it has been a controversial topic that some countries have offered
criteria
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 to restrict working
time
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 for
workers
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,
while
Linking Words
 others suggest
otherwise
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. After thorough consideration, I strongly believe that many citizens have obtained more advantages than disadvantages from the
criteria
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. My opinion will be thoroughly examined in the following essay. It is undeniable that the governments of many nations have utilized the power of humans in the movement of economic systems for a longer
time
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, and diverse organizations or industries have provided injustice
criteria
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 for citizens,
such
Linking Words
 as working overtime or overnight.
In addition
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, private industries have ignorance about taking care of employees, who have
work
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 pressures, family responsibilities, and financial concerns.
For example
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, there are a lot of food companies in Thailand that have no empathy, but they are aware of their own benefits
due to
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 the growth of population density and economics.
Furthermore
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, enormous
workers
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 not only have started their jobs from 7.00 a.
m
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. to 6.00 p.
m
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., but they
also
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 have dramatically worked overnight
time
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, roughly 8.00 p.
m
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. to 3.00 a.
m
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. on the next day.
Therefore
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, the government and private organizations should be aware of
this
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 drawback to improve the life quality of
workers
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 by providing accurate working
time
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 constraints.
Moreover
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, when the governments can establish the registration of controlling limited
time
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,
workers
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 have
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
work
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 oppression, fewer responsibilities, and more happiness, which are significant factors in developing a life quality, including having
work
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 potential. In topics of health, when many employees have focused on severely working life for a long
time
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, they have been confronted with physical health-related problems,
such
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 as skeleton systems, eye strain, and obesity, which are obviously harmful.
Furthermore
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, they have been faced with mental health-related drawbacks,
such
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 as insomnia
due to
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work
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 pressures, including stress, which is a main drawback for many citizens with depression, and they may discourage themselves or eventually commit suicide. To recapitulate, even though some nations may debate in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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 of having laws for controlling the working
time
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 that provides negative things for the
workers
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 and the government.
However
Linking Words
, I confidently believe that the
criteria
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 can offer positive things for employees,
such
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 as more happiness and decreasing diverse illnesses.

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grammar
Your essay contains some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that slightly hinder clarity. Try to review your grammar and work on sentence structure to improve fluency.
sentence structure
While your main points are well-structured, some sentences are overly complex. Simplifying and shortening sentences will ensure your ideas are communicated more clearly and effectively.
examples
You provide relevant examples, but try to diversify them further to strengthen your argument. Providing more varied examples can enhance your task response score.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which strengthen the overall structure of your essay.
response
The essay thoroughly examines the prompt with comprehensive ideas and relevant points, showing a strong grasp on the topic.
support
Your use of specific examples to support your arguments helps to clarify your points and makes the essay more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
What to do next:
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